Just down-home pizza lovers at the White House

We are so fortunate to have all these warm and fuzzy Democrats running things these days. They reeeeeeeally care about the poor and downtrodden. Why I'm sure they eat bread and water at least two days a week and send the money saved to the poor. Just look at Al Gore's generous charitable giving. And I had to hold back a tear when Michelle went down to serve White House leftovers at the soup kitchen.

But what really touches me is the modesty of the Obama's diet -- pizza. They are just down-home folks like you and me who, when we want pizza, fly in a pizza chef from St. Louis to serve his specialties to 140 at dinner. (Oh, you don't do that? Your pizza chef is at Dominoes? And you've had to stop ordering out because you had to take a 15% pay cut?) Well, give the guy a break...everybody knows what it's like when you get that pizza craving and sometimes only a St. Louis pizza will do.

It's true that some Americans are losing their jobs, homes, and retirements -- but they should be happy that a few AIG folks get big bonuses and the Obamas are rolling in dough and can afford these little luxuries. At least somebody is enjoying life. (Oh wait, I forgot, the AIG guys are bad and their houses should be picketed; the Obamas are good and should be idolized. I'll try to keep that straight.)

And what's with the sour souls who quibble that this happened at the same time U.S. citizens were being held by pirates off the coast of Somalia? Don't these mean-spirited folks know the president needs these breaks from all the stress? First things first - the Captain who's being held hostage will have to understand that it's just so hard to get a good pizza in D.C.

Now some curmudgeons are grumbling about the impact of global warming from burning fossil fuels to fly these guys to Washington. (Not the fawning folks at Good Morning America, however, but they were getting free pizza.) We all know the president is really concerned about global warming. After all, he keeps telling us turn off our lights, lower our thermostats, buy hybrid cars, and check the air in our tires. (Maybe it was a hybrid plane flying on fuel made from corn.) Besides, people will just have to understand how much it meant to the royal first family to have that yummy St. Louis pizza for dinner. Who could possibly call that elitist hypocrisy? Not me. I like a good pizza myself. Let's go to Pizza Hut for dinner.

As for the hostage captain - well, let him eat Somalian flatbread.