When we are out and about I often get into conversations with people. This week, while we were camping at Sherando Lake, I spoke briefly to a grandmother who was pushing a little girl in an umbrella stroller. The child looked like she was about two. She was a serious child. I asked her if she had her grandma wrapped around her finger and she nodded solemnly.I mentioned to the grandmother how much I enjoy our grandchildren. She replied, "I have one and that's enough." How sad, I thought.
My response was, "How can there be too many flowers in the grandma garden?" And then we walked on. But it was a sad conversation to me. I have no idea what's going on in her family. Maybe she is the primary caregiver for this little girl and resents it. I once met a grandfather in the grocery store carrying an infant. When I admired the little girl, he shared that she was born out of wedlock and maybe it would have been better if she had been aborted. "Oh you don't mean that," I replied gently, "Just look at that beautiful child."
These conversations amaze me - first that people will tell intimate details of their lives to perfect strangers. And secondly, that a grandparent will reflect, again to a stranger, such negative attitudes toward their grandchildren.
Unfortunately I can top that, from an incident at the Planned Parenthood abortuary today. A mother and teen-aged daughter walked by. Apparently the mom was going to abort the daughter years ago, but didn't. She alleges that prolifers at the time promised help but didn't come through. She said she should have aborted - in front of her daughter. Can you imagine someone saying that in front of the child? But the daughter agreed. In other words, this poor girl grew up knowing that she wasn't worth a pile of you-know-what to her mother! How low have we sunk?
ReplyDeleteWhen I was counseling at AAA women for Choice I had a mom say the same thing about her daughter who she brought in to kill her baby. Poor little gal. She wanted the baby but didn't have enough courage to stand up to Momma. There is a hot place in hell for parents like that if they don't repent.
ReplyDeleteI wonder why you were so quick to assume the worst about what was just a passing comment? Perhaps the grandmother was merely stating her contentment with her one grandchild? Maybe the girl's parents had dealt with miscarriages or infertility. Or perhaps she was merely feeling a little worn down after running after a toddler?
ReplyDeleteI can only say you weren't there, Ann Marie. You didn't hear her tone or see her face. There wasn't a hint of humor in her comment and it certainly wasn't said in "contentment." In fact my husband's assessment was that her attitude was that one grandchild wasn't enough, but more than enough.
ReplyDeleteI reiterate my request that people pray for grandparents who take little joy in their precious grandchildren.
These are some sad stories and many grandparents are raising their grandchildren because the parents are on drugs, in jail, etc. This is indeed a difficult situation for older people but abortion is not the answer. Perhaps a support group is needed if one has not already been started to help cope with everyday problems.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I have so far 8. Every weekend we have 1 or 2 stay with us. They are our joy.
ReplyDeleteIn our parish we are not alone, in fact we are a minority with some Grandparents having 35. It is tough at Christmas but they are loved and love us. Our favorite time is at Mass when we take up 2 rows.