On Gender, Inclusive Pronouns, and the Language Cops

Tracking the pronoun offenders!

My, my...the gender police are working hard to transform language in order to make sure we are all culturally sensitive and don't offend any of the differently gendered, or is that "alt-gendered"? All the lesbian, gay, intersex, gender-fluid, genderqueer, intersex, cisgender, agender, and other odd folk must not be alienated or made to feel...well...odd. And so we have language gymnastics in order to develop an inclusive vocabulary that makes everyone feel at home in the loony bin. He and she personal pronouns must be replaced. Many have already done that using the grammatically incorrect "they" to stand in for "he or she" which, unfortunately, doesn't consider those who want to be "its".


I have a modest proposal (suggested by a priest friend) for this serious problem. Henceforth, we should all be required to use the pronoun "shit" to replace the personal pronouns "she, he, and it." Shit is perfect! She and he are included with the added benefit of the female pronoun taking precedence which should please the feminists. "It" is prominent which should please the "agender" who, according to National Geographic are persons who do not "identify as having a gender identity that can be categorized as man or woman or who [identify] as not having a gender identity."

And best of all, the word puts I at its center which should make the entire narcissistic gender population ecstatic. After all, that is ultimately what it's all about -- replacing the great "I AM" with all the little rebellious shits.

Let's see how this works with a paragraph in oldspeak:

Terry applied to be a contestant in the new game show, Name My Gender. She hopes to be on the show on February 14th because it is her brother's birthday. She plans to give him all her winnings as a birthday gift to put toward buying himself a car.

This presents not only a problem with personal pronouns but possessive pronouns as well. We can look forward to paragraphs in newspeak like this:

Terry applied to be a contestant in the new game show, Name My Gender. Shit hopes to be on the show on February 14th because it is shit's brother's birthday. Shit plans to give him all shit's winnings as a birthday gift to put toward buying himself a new car.

Name That Gender!

Well, that solves the problem of the personal and possessive pronouns for Terry, but we have another linguistic complication. Terry's biological brother identifies as "non-binary" which is (again according to National Geographic) "A spectrum of gender identities and expressions, often based on the rejection of the gender binary's assumption that gender is strictly an either-or option of male/man/masculine or female/woman/feminine."

So now we must edit this to read:

Terry applied to be a contestant in the new game show, Name My Gender. Shit hopes to be on the show on February 14th because it is shit's sibling's birthday. Shit plans to give shit all shit's winnings as a birthday gift to put toward buying shitself a new car.

Hmmm....maybe transforming a language to be politically gender-correct is a little more complicated than all the odd-gendered have considered. You can be sure there's more to come on this since countries are actually legislating this insanity. It's not surprising really. After the assassins kill the truth, reason can't be far behind.

Prayer for the day: "Lord, you are the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Please bring our world back to the path of reason and sanity and a love for the truth. Our Lady, seat of Wisdom, pray for us."