"Gone for the Day!" A Primer on Staying Close to Your Beloved Esposa!

Reading the Epoch Times is always an adventure. I come across many excellent articles and often clip them to send to family members. This morning the article that caught my eye was advice to parents of children not to let their family responsibilities prevent working on their couple relationship. I sent it to a granddaughter who is expecting her second little one. They are in the busy-busy days of married life.

She and her husband are blessed to live near both of their families and there are abundant baby sitters who would love cuddling the little ones. I never had that. Both sets of parents were too far away to be very helpful. We were pretty much on our own and since I was raised in a frequently moving Navy family I had no local support group. We gradually developed one through Christian Family Movement and church, but that's not the same as family.

My granddaughter is more fortunate and I hope she expresses her gratitude, first to God for the blessing of family and second to her parents and in-laws. Extended family is the real village that raises the children, not the fake family of Uncle Sam and Big Daddy government!

Working on the married relationship is a lifelong project. My husband and I in our old age can easily live as married singles and sometimes have. We don't want to do that ever again. Recently we decided to inaugurate a "Gone for the Day" outing once or twice a month. 

Our first adventure was a leaf tour. We left Woodstock after breakfast and drove to Franklin, West Virginia. The ride on the back roads was beautiful and we made an unplanned stop when we passed Ryan's Fruit Market on the way. I had to take a picture to send to our grandson, Ryan, and say we were thinking about him.

We had lunch in Franklin at a little hotel dining room charmingly arrayed in Tiffany lamps, stuffed critters, and harvest decor. Victorian Tiffany lamps and backwood stuffed animals tickled my appreciation of the absurd. 

From Franklin we drove on to Monterey and stopped at the McDowell battlefield to read the historical markers about Stonewall Jackson's Valley Campaign. What an amazing man Jackson was! Violating Virginia law, he taught slaves to read. Several slaves asked him to purchase them and let them work off the price and be freed which he did.

Jackson loved God so much he wouldn't post a letter that would be enroute on a Sunday. During the Spanish/American war, he attended some Catholic services in Mexico, but as a staunch Presbyterian, I think he could never feel comfortable with the bells, the incense, the elaborate decorations, etc. of the Catholic Church. 

I love the little book of his letters to his second wife, Anna, Beloved Bride. The movie, Gods and Generals is a balanced view of a tragic war that separated brother from brother. Even today, sad to say, the animosity remains among some. The burning of the Valley remains a scar in this area of Virginia. It was brutal and left many families homeless, mostly women and children, and without resources as winter came on, a clear violation of Catholic just war theory.

My husband and I used to take horseback riding lesson's with a descendent of Union General Philip Sheridan, one of the first generals to use the scorched earth policy in war. Think about what happened in Gaza recently and you have a picture of what Sheridan did to the Valley. Today, he would be condemned for his war crimes, although I know a number of people who think the South deserved whatever inhumanity the North could impose.  Our horseback-riding companion was careful when he chose a name for his farm. I think it was Sheridan's Retreat, perhaps a tongue-in-cheek choice since Sheridan never retreated and continued his scorched earth policy later in the Indian wars. The statement, "The only good Indian is a dead Indian," is attributed to him. 

From McDowell we drove over Shenandoah Mountain and headed back toward home with a stop at the Book Fair to do a little Christmas shopping. It was a lovely day that we're still talking about. The trees were breathtaking and continue to be beautiful, although we're nearing the end. We may head over to Berkley Springs for our next adventure and take a dip in the hot springs bathhouse. There are so many possibilities nearby that the planning is part of the adventure!

After 56 years of marriage we still enjoy each other's company and pray for young married couples. On our 50th anniversary trip to the Smokies we met newlyweds in Gatlinburg waiting for the aerial tramway. They asked our advice for a happy marriage. It was simple: "Always treat each other with respect and keep your promises." I still pray for them. 

And on that note, I'll close. Give your sweetie a hug today and make a plan for a couple's adventure. Anything that draws you closer is a gift from God and pleases Him. After all, he changed water into wine to keep a wedding party going. I think he wanted that party to go on until "death do you part." Happy All Hollows Eve!