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Saturday, January 10, 2026

Have You Been Erased? Do You Erase Others?

I came across an article on substack by a divorced dad who described himself as "being erased" by his spouse. Actually, several divorced men I know have experienced that situation with their children turned against them by their bitter ex wives. Of course, I'm getting a one-sided picture of the situation, but, knowing these men, it's hard to believe they deserved the total annihilation of their role as dads. 

Reflecting further got me thinking about that term, "being erased" and what it means in a broader context. Some events in my own life came to mind where I've been erased myself. Did you ever have a friend who erased you because of a disagreement? Maybe it was about politics, that's sure a hot-button issue these days. But maybe it was just a difference in personality and style. 

I remember  being erased years ago by someone I thought was a close friend. Don't ask me what happened; it was never very clear, but I stopped at her house one day, sat at the kitchen counter drinking coffee and talking to her husband and children, while I experienced being invisible to my friend who completely ignored me. And that was the end of our friendship. She erased me from her life. I cried for six months, but survived. When I saw her several years later at a Knights of Columbus convention (both our husbands were Grand Knights of their respective councils), I was able to be friendly and cordial and smile. By that time, the wound was a scar and I had moved on. She and her husband are both gone now, and I still pray for them. I have never given up friends easily. 

How many people erase others while they consider themselves exemplary Christians? You hear a lot of labels these days about people being toxic or narcissistic to justify their erasure. The labels trip easily off the tongue. Obviously there really are some abusive people out there whom it's sensible to avoid. But how many are judged harshly and are erased for the crime of not being the cookie cutter image of their eraser? Or not being a member of the eraser's tribe? Liberals appear to erase all conservatives and, in fact, seem to want to kill them. Conservatives tend to erase liberals without the same level of violent antagonism. None of it seems very Christian to me. We don't have an obligation to be best friends with everybody, but a little kindness?

Help me, Lord, to retire the eraser except for erasing sin from my life. Help me to keep my chalk active describing the best traits of even those with whom I disagree. Help me to practice kindness toward all.

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine.


2 comments:

  1. Ma'am
    You should have been a little moref diplomatic... Probably you should have texted or called her and say something like "hey, im in the neighborhood and I would love ❤️ to have a cup of coffee with you...I got some news to share.."capish"?
    But you dropping in unannounced and chumming with her husband obviously caused a problem.
    My advice... at 3:00 pm stop by your church. Spend some time with him.
    Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet. And pray the following: O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the
    Heart of Jesus. As a fount of mercy
    for us ,, I Trust in You.. Jesus really loves it when you trust in Him..

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    Replies
    1. No such thing as texting in those days. Maybe no cell phones yet. I can't remember. I'll pray to be more diplomatic when I go to adoration this afternoon. Thank you for the advice. Please pray for me.

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