Tuptim and Topsy Fill Out an Application

teaching a guy to walk like a girl

Tuptim: Hey Topsy, did you know transgenders have beauty pageants? Look at this application I ran off the internet for Miss International Queen.

Topsy: I always wanted to be a queen. Why don't we fill it out. Is it only for men pretending to be women or do they include contestants who are women pretending to be men?

Tuptim: You have to be born a biological male who's transgendered, but....uh...you can still have your male parts attached.

Topsy: That should be interesting during the swim suit competition.

Tuptim: Ewwww! I don't want to go there.

Bruce Jenner in drag.

Topsy: What shall we call our contestant?

Tuptim: Hmm...how about Ne’at Oday?

Topsy: Perfect! Favorite color?

Tuptim: All the colors of the rainbow, of course.

Topsy: (laughing) of course! Why didn't I know that?

Tuptim: They actually have transgender classes to teach guys in drag how to walk like girls? (Handing Topsy a photo) I found this picture of a guy taking the class. Note the old book-on-the-head trick. I don't think that's going to help him much. Think he'll be going to the pageant?

Topsy: (Laughing) Not hardly! Funny isn't it that a man who looks fine the way God made him, would want to remake himself as an ugly woman. Bruce Jenner is a handsome guy. There's not enough makeup at Revlon to make him a pretty woman.

bacha bazi dancing boy with a predator

Tuptim: It's all photo enhancement, air brushing and all the tricks with computer graphics. You know they must have done that with the Vanity Fair cover.

Topsy: Right, they even do that with beautiful female models. No wonder so many end up with eating disorders! What's the next question on the application?  

Tuptim: (Reading) Countries lived in. Let's see... how about Afghanistan, Ne'at started out as a bacha bazi dancing boy there. And cities visited: (writing on the form) Bangkok, Amsterdam, Stockholm.... Do you know Sweden has a gay stamp? It's the rainbow flag. The whole world's gone crazy!

Topsy: (Pensively) You know, I wonder how many of these disturbed men experienced sex abuse as children. It's sad to think of those poor little bacha bazi boys. What chance do they have to be anything else after all that abuse? I saw a video of a tiny boy, probably five or six dancing for a crowd of Muslim men practically drooling over him. One documentary said after they dance, the boys are auctioned off. Sick!

Tuptim: Look at this photo of one of the boys. Doesn't he look sad? Talk about human trafficking!

Topsy: It makes me sad. (Looking at the application) What else does it say?

Tuptim: Let's see..."Method of entry...Entrant agrees to be bound..." (Stops and looks up.) Do you think they mean that literally?

Topsy: (Raises eyebrows) I hope not! This is too depressing. Let's say the rosary for all these poor perverted men and the poor little boys who have no choice in the matter but are victims of adult sex predators. There must be a special place in hell for those abusers.

Tuptim: And let's pray for the stupid enablers cheering for the "brave" men parading their perversity. People really need to start connecting the dots between all these evils. You can't shake your heads over the homosexual abuse of the Afghan bacha bazi boys or the victims of homosexual clergy abuse and then cheer for all the men dressing up in tutus and sequins and sashaying down the runway at these beauty contests. Somebody needs to scream from the housetops that the emperor has no clothes!

Topsy: (Taking out her rosary and making the sign of the cross.) "In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit."