Annulments in the U.S. - Is it Catholic Divorce?

An Anecdotal story may not prove a point, but it certainly can illustrate a problem. I have a sad story that I think indicates the ludicrous nature of annulments in the United States.

For a short time my husband and I were involved with a marriage enrichment program in Virginia. During that time we worked with a couple who participated as a team on numerous marriage weekends. They also headed up the local group and were a model for a good marriage. They invited us to participate in a Mass and party renewing their marriage vows which we happily attended. A few years later, after moving on to other apostolates we were shocked one day at our local Denny's to see John (not his real name) holding hands with another woman.

As we left I expressed my hope that he was expressing affection to his sister. "Maybe they haven't seen each other in a long time," I said to my husband, but I didn't really believe it. Alas, she was indeed the "other woman." Later, we heard through mutual friends that John and Mary had divorced and received an annulment in the Church. Here was a couple who not only had to have their original marriage annuled, but the second set of vows as well. What were the grounds? I don't know, but it is hard to imagine a man who was a military officer, who had held serious responsibility, could be "lacking due discretion" (i.e. being too psychologically immature to make the commitment). That is the primary cause given for annulment in the U.S.

To make the story even more interesting, a number of years later I ran into John's wife at a luncheon where we sat next to each other. I couldn't help asking, "Mary (not her real name), please tell me it's none of my business if you'd rather not talk about it, but I've always wondered how you and John could get an annulment after giving all those marriage enrichment weekends and renewing your vows in the Church." She was not offended and replied candidly -- "I don't understand it either."

Needless to say, Mary had not remarried because, despite the annulment, she still considered herself wedded to John. She would keep her promises.

The question is, what does God think? If John and Mary were married in the sight of God, and Mary obviously believes they were, no clerical slight of hand can sever the bond between them. Which means that John and his second "wife" are living in adultery. Who will be held accountable for that sin? (Set aside any other sins for the moment.) There's only one answer -- the judges of the tribunal.

I don't know whether Mary appealed the decision. Tribunals don't often tell the victims (I use the term deliberately) that they have that right. Sheila Rauch Kennedy, wife of Joseph Kennedy, did appeal, and ten years later (2005) Rome determined the original marriage was, indeed, valid, although Rauch wasn't informed of the outcome by the Boston Archdiocese until 2007. Speedy justice, eh?

In a speech to the Roman Rota January 29, Pope Benedict decried the easy annulment situation and the length of time necessary for tribunal decisions. He warned that "We run the risk of falling into an anthropological pessimism which, in the light of today's cultural situation, considers it almost impossible to marry." He also repeated Pope John Paul II's concern about "the scandal of seeing the value of Christian marriage destroyed in practice by the exaggerated and almost automatic multiplication of declarations of nullity." This is particularly true in the United States where the vast majority of annulments are granted. Are Americans really less able to contract valid marriages than those living in every other country of the world? Is it a case of "Well, I meant it when I said it, but now I've changed my mind?" Would that argument fly for any other form of legal contract? Is marriage less important than buying a house or a boat?

One of the greatest causes of the breakdown of American society is the dissolution of the family. That the U.S. Church has been an enabler of that disaster is one of the biggest scandals we face in this country and a root cause of our abortion holocaust.

Read More Articles:

Pope John Paul II's 2004 address to the Roman Rota

Catholic Marriage and annulments

Tribunals should work quickly, defend marriage, Pope says

Pope cautions tribunals against granting annulments too easily