Is Your Marriage in Trouble?

Two people learning to be married and become "one flesh" is not an easy endeavor, particularly in a culture that says, "I have a right to be happy" every day, every hour, every second of my life. But the fact is that most things in life are difficult. The farmer who sets out to grow a crop has to first prepare the field. Think of the early settlers in New England who wanted to farm. They had to clear trees, remove rocks, till the soil, plant, water, and wait. They had to weed and fertilize. Only after a season could they finally harvest the crop. The long distance runner has to commit to long-term training before he runs his first marathon. The medal at the finish line is the least of his personal victories. They come with the dedication and commitment of the morning six-miler in the rain and the half marathon in summer's heat.

So if you are in a difficult marriage, know that your situation is normal. Don't be in a hurry to call it quits. If you turn to lawyers and the courts, your marriage is probably doomed because of the no-fault divorce system which enriches lawyers and the government at the cost of breaking up families.

Maybe you've been married only long enough to experience your first disillusionment. That's a marker on the road, not an ending. Perhaps there's been a betrayal or a deep emotional wound inflicted by the person you thought would be true forever. Don't give up without a fight. There are groups and sources dedicated to helping you live out a true covenant marriage. And there's a third person in your marriage who will do everything to help you succeed.

Obviously if you or your children are in physical danger you must immediately remove yourself from the situation, but even then intervention may help save your marriage. Those who abuse when they are drunk or high on drugs can embrace sobriety. People can unlearn bad behaviors if they make a daily decision to stay in the battle. Overcoming our bad habits and entrenched sins is no less a struggle than any war against evil.

G.K. Chesterton once said that Christianity hasn't been tried and found difficult. Rather it's been found difficult and left untried. The same, sadly, can be said of covenant marriage. But for those who hang in for the planting, the growth, and the backbreaking labor -- it is more than worth all the struggle and effort to reap the harvest - true joy.