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Monday, February 13, 2017

Guest Post: Love is Not Grey - Why I'm Skipping the Movie

You know you want to be dominated. You
fantasize about men raping you.
I'm just here to oblige. Want to watch
Fifty Shades Darker before we get it on? 
Editors note: These films train men in vicious crimes against women. What's next? The glorification of serial killers? It's porn, plain and simple. And porn always requires more: more variety including sadism, more violence, and more extreme behavior. Mainstreaming this pornography will create more Ted Bundys! Go to the link and watch Bundy's interview with James Dobson. It's the porn, Stupid!

Tell us again, girls, how crude and misogynistic Donald Trump is as you slobber over the sick messages of these male domination/rape films? And note that in the rape case described in the article below, the accused got off because he claimed they were just role playing the movie where "no" really means "yes." In the 50 Shades of Grey world, no woman is safe since rapists can always say, "She wanted it." 

Haven't we been there in the past? I thought we'd advanced from the all-women-are-sluts-who-really-want-to-be-raped era. Guess I was wrong. On the other hand, is it possible that liberal women like those at the Women's March agree with the message? They were certainly lewd and crude and...well... slutty at the March. How many enjoyed these films saying, "It's just sex."

Why I Won't be Seeing Fifty Shades Darker and No Real Feminist Would

by Jamie Fuller

I won't be going to see the new Fifty Shades of Grey movie and here's why. We as women have spent the last 50+ years fighting to be seen as more than sex objects. We have demanded equality to men in the work place. We've fought to have our partners stand by our side at home and pitch in around the house. We've dug ourselves out from this idea that women should be the sole caretakers of our children. We want to be equal to men in all ways (well not me- we aren't equal- women fill the gaps that men can't and vice versa - but that's a whole different discussion).

Why, then, are women clambering to see Fifty Shades Darker? What does that say when we promote a movie that not only objectifies women, but creates this idea that every woman fantasizes about being dominated? When "no" doesn't mean "no". When "no" doesn't mean "maybe". When "no" means a resounding "yes". Wasn't there just a women's march to protest violence against women? I still don't understand why, because rape is illegal, rape is not accepted nor promoted, it is not aspired to. It's a problem in our society and should be addressed and continued to be fought through the legal system and in our own homes (by raising good, respectful men). This brings me to my point though. How many of the women who were marching against rape are now going out to see a movie that glorifies it?

Here I have to admit, I didn't read the book or see the movies. I didn't want to fill my head with those images or support the notion that the subject matter was okay. However, I read the reviews when the first movie came out and have heard even more horrible things about the second. When even the Huffington Post calls out how the movie promotes domestic violence, we really have to take a moment and think. Is this what we want to illustrate to the next generation as love? You may be crying, "this isn't porn, you haven't seen it- you don't know what you're talking about!" But, I don't have to see it to know that this is not an idea I want to leave as a legacy for the next generation. Do I want my girls to grow up thinking Christian Grey is the epitome of love? That love includes disrespect, unkindness, dominance, and rape? No! And, what's more is that I don't want my boys to grow up thinking that's how you treat women. (Yes, that's a problem, see here a male student invokes 50 Shades in defense of rape.)

I think we can all agree we don't want our little girls to be Ana (apparently the main character who thinks that she can't say no or walk away from Grey's abusive behavior). But, have you thought of the idea of your sweet little boy being Christian Grey? Having so little respect for women that he needs to mistreat and dominate them in order to fulfill his own self worth. This is not the example I want for my children's generation.

Before you rush out to see Fifty Shades Darker this Valentine's Day, consider this: we as a country were outraged at the idea of a presidential candidate making crass and inappropriate comments about women. We as a country (well some of us anyway) supported a march on the capital protesting rape and domestic violence on women. We as a country have fought for women to be on the same level as men in the work place, in society, and at home. Why, then, would any of us want to see a movie that does nothing more than demote women to sex objects and elevate men into a place of dominance over us?

[Millennial mom, Jamie Fuller, blogs about fashion and family at]

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