Remembering My Dad with Gratitude

Yesterday was my dad's birthday. He was born in 1917, the first of five children born to Raymond Michael Schneider and Marie Zurlinden Schneider in Cleveland, Ohio. His dad, my grandfather, was an organist who played in vaudeville for the silent movies and later was organist at St. James Catholic Church in Lakewood where his men and boys' choirs became well known. He taught his own children to play and Daddy played the organ later for the Catholic community at the Naval Academy when he was student there and for St. Augustine's in Elkridge, MD after he retired.

In 2009 my brother, Ray Jr. (now deceased), posted this on his blog:

Raymond John Schneider — Dad

Ray's first ship was USS DETROIT, which was at Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. DETROIT subsequently transported the Philippine Government's gold and silver monetary reserve, which had been removed from Corregidor by submarine, from Honolulu to San Francisco. Detached from DETROIT in December, 1942, he went to flight training. Designated Naval Aviator in 1943, he was ordered to NAS Melbourne, where he completed fighter training and carrier qualification, and later served as an Assistant Instructor in fighters. In 1944, he was a student in aeronautical engineering (armament) at the Naval PG School, Annapolis. Ordered to MIT, he received the degree of Master of Science (aeronautical engineering) in August, 1946. Ray next went to BuAer, in the Armament Division. In 1947, he was designated AEDO, and in 1949 he reported to the Naval Air Development Center, Johnsville, PA, and in 1952 became BuAer Rep, Cleveland. Returning to BuAer in 1955, he served in the Armament and Avionics Divisions. After attending the Industrial College of the Armed Forces in 1960, he returned to Johnsville as Director of the Aeronautical Electronic and Electrical Laboratory. From 1964 to 1965, he was BuWeps Rep at Westinghouse, Baltimore, after which he served as Missile Development Officer in BuWeps. In May, 1966, he assumed duty as Executive Director and Acting Assistant Commander for Research and Technology, NAVAIR. In 1968, after being promoted to Rear Admiral, he was assigned as Assistant Commander for Research and Technology in NAVAIR. In 1971, Ray became Vice Commander of NAVELEX, and in 1972, he became the Commander, where he served until retirement, June 30, 1975.

Daddy with his sister Rita

That describes Daddy's naval career, but he was more than an officer and a gentleman; he was a son, a brother, a father and a Catholic. He made his First Communion at Our Lady of Angels Catholic Church in Cleveland in 1924 and embraced the faith throughout his young life. Before proposing to my mom he gave her the 1930 papal encyclical, Casti Connubii, and told her he couldn't marry her if she didn't agree with it. This was the original document challenging Sanger's immoral positions attacking life. My mom, an adopted daughter, with only one adopted sister fourteen years older, wanted a large family so there was no impediment to their marriage. They proceeded to rear ten children with one tragic loss of my little brother Jimmy who died shortly before term.

After Daddy graduated from the Academy in 1940 while Europe was in the early days of war, he was sent to the west coast to deploy to Hawaii. Mom flew out with her aunt as chaperone. She went to the chancery in San Diego to get a dispensation from announcing the banns and met the bishop, Charles Buddy. He married my mom and dad in a small ceremony in his private chapel and hosted a wedding breakfast for them. I still have the New Testament he gave them as a wedding gift. 

I don't remember ever missing Mass my entire young life. I was the fourth child and our family continued to grow. We were always there on time filling up an entire pew as more babies arrived, all dressed in our Sunday best. The Sunday morning tradition was a trip to the bakery after Mass coming home with boxes and bags of glazed and powdered jelly doughnuts, assorted danish, and crispy elephant ears. It was the sugar high of the week and we loved it!

The fond memories of my parents and family fill me with gratitude: memories of Daddy playing opera on our grand piano in various living rooms. I loved to sit next to him on the piano bench and sing. Angel Hosts and the Jewel Song from Faust are the two I remember. But my favorite was when he blasted the Grand March from Aida. Unfortunately, none of us kids followed his example as pianists. I took a year of lessons in third grade, but was so shy the gentle and kind nun terrified me. My fingers froze at every lesson no matter how much I practiced, so I begged to stop. Now I play a little very badly, but with so much nostalgia as I finger the pages of Daddy's taped up opera book. 

My parents gave us the greatest gift possible -- the Catholic faith. I remember my mom taking us to confession regularly and I loved getting up early to go with her to morning Mass before school. How much I regret not telling my parents more often how much I loved them. I was with them both when they died and I hope they realized it in their final moments. 

A belated happy birthday, Daddy. And a big hug to you, Mom. I hope this message finds you both in heaven since I've offered many perpetual novenas and Masses for the repose of your souls. If you're still on the bench in Purgatory, please pray for me and all of our family still struggling in this Valley of Tears. We need all the help we can get.

May the Divine Assistance remain always with us and may the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.