The Estranged Cat is Out of the Bag and the Herd of Elephants in the Room is Being Acknowledged

Before I begin, I want readers to know that I have a lot of trepidation about posting this two-part article. Although I don't get too specific about my husband's and my experience with estrangement, it identifies us as members of the discarded parents club. The post has been sitting in my draft folder for several weeks and Larry and I have been mulling over it and praying. I spoke to my spiritual director as well. 

After serious consideration, I've decided to post it now during the month of the Sacred Heart uniting our sorrow to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and to the Immaculate and sorrowful heart of the Blessed Mother.

Suffering? Join It To the Cross of Christ

Today is the feast of the Sacred Heart. It offers an invitation to each of us to look on our sufferings as fuel. The heart of Christ is a burning furnace of charity. We can place the logs of our sufferings in that furnace and watch them burst into flame creating embers mixed with the glowing embers of Christ's love. 

Remember St. Paul's admonition in Romans 12:20 to heap burning coals on the heads of our enemies, the burning coals of conversion. Let us never miss an opportunity to love our neighbor with both the corporal and spiritual works of mercy. 

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto thine.

Love Does Not Keep a Record of Wrongs

I often read St. Paul's description of love from 1 Corinthians 13 and ask the question, "How 
am I doing, Lord?" Sometimes well; too often not so well:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Sunday Meditation: Are Catholics Masochists?

Are Catholics masochists who turn every landscape into a dystopian city of suffering? What do you think?

In his homily this morning, Father mentioned reading an article by a psychologist who stated that Catholics worship pain and suffering. His evidence? Our churches have a bloodied crucified man at the center, many of our saints suffered gruesome martyrdoms, we offer a Mass with the unbloody sacrifice of the slain Lamb of God, etc. And, of course, there's the guilt factor. Father didn't mention that, but it's part of the picture painted by disbelieving psychologists. The Church lays a guilt trip on their followers who need to spend significant time (and money) de-compressing with a professional who will relieve them of their guilt. All those poor Catholics who wear a metaphorical hair shirt, if not a real one, are paralyzed by unending guilt that needs to be eliminated by drugs or talk therapy. Hmmm.

Living Lent All Year!

I experienced a grief moment this morning. That's not uncommon during my prayer and meditation time. When you're almost 79 you've had plenty of sorrows over the years: deaths, estrangements, betrayals, unkindness, accusations. They turn into the muck that makes up the slough of despond. Our Lady of Sorrows, pray for me.

Septuagesima Sunday Means the Final Goodbye to Christmas and Turns Our Faces To Lent

Yesterday was Septuagesima Sunday when we fully turn our faces from the celebration of Christmas to the Suffering of Lent. Over the weekend I finally took down the creche and the Christmas tree -- reluctantly. With all the frigid weather, the lights spread a cheery glow in our dining room at every meal spreading warmth, if not to the body to the soul. 

Have You Been Erased? Do You Erase Others?

I came across an article on substack by a divorced dad who described himself as "being erased" by his spouse. Actually, several divorced men I know have experienced that situation with their children turned against them by their bitter ex wives. Of course, I'm getting a one-sided picture of the situation, but, knowing these men, it's hard to believe they deserved the total annihilation of their role as dads. 

The Invitation: A Picture Worth a Thousand Words

A reader in the UK who requires 24-hour care sent me this delightful little picture drawn by one of her care givers. Catherine shared with me that she has a condition that makes it very painful to look up, so she gets the constant view of people's feet. Imagine not being able to look up at the sky, not to see the sunrise or sunset or a rainbow. What a gift a colorful garden would be to someone forced always to look at the ground. 

Most of us complain about the most trivial things. But suppose Christ invited us to share in Catherine's condition or the sufferings of St. Margaret of Costello, the little blind, humpbacked beggar abandoned by her highborn parents who kept her hidden away for years before they threw her away.

I often imagine myself at the foot of the cross with my arms wrapped around it to anchor me. Then I kiss the feet of Jesus and beg for His help. What is Christ's invitation to us this morning on eighth day of this new year? Come, Lord Jesus.

Feast of St. Stephen, the First Martyr, an Invitation to Suffer with Christ

The day after Christmas the Church gives us a graphic reminder that embracing and living the faith isn't just cuddling a baby, but requires walking in darkness and suffering. St. Stephen, the first martyr, was a deacon chosen to help with the distribution of food to widows and the poor. While exercising that duty he performed signs and wonders that amazed the community.

His actions inflamed the Jewish people who dragged him before the Sanhedrin accusing him falsely of blasphemy. How did he respond? He delivered a passionate review of God's covenant with His chosen people from the time of Abraham.

Retire the Fairy Godmother and Watch your Mailbox for the Invitation

Do you sometimes wish you had a fairy godmother who could wave her magic wand and sprinkle her fairy dust to resolve all your problems? I've been thinking about my own challenges (Mother Teresa would never let her nuns talk about "problems;" everything was a challenge or an opportunity.) and it occurred to me that everything, every single thing, is a gift! The alarm on the septic going off, the water in the basement during a heavy thunderstorm, the tick disease that puts you in the hospital -- all those challenges are opportunities. 

As my mom always said, "Offer it up for the poor souls in Purgatory." What an opportunity to put my sufferings to work! Why waste them when they can do so much good?

And if people fail you or condemn you or treat you with disrespect or shun you, or persecute you, those are the gilded invitations, the special ones that take you directly to the feet of the King where you can say, "My Lord, I trust in You. In Your wisdom and love, take care of everything!"

Clap Your Hands and Shout for Joy!

One of St. Augustine's pearls of wisdom is the statement that God loves each one of us as if there were just one of us. Think about that for a minute. Everything we see around us, God made it all for our delight. He gave us our five senses so we could enjoy His gifts: the moon and stars that light up the night sky, the birds singing to welcome the morning, the smell of the honeysuckle to sweeten the air, the touch of a baby's silky skin, the taste of your favorite meal. All, everything he made for you, not you plural, but you, the precious one. He loves you and me individually and enough to die for. It's a reality almost too big to grasp. Does it make you dizzy? 

Sunday Meditation: To be united to Christ means union with the Cross.

Mary Magdalene
embracing the cross.

Regular readers of the blog know how much I like the Benedictus prayer companion. I usually do the daily devotions including the meditation. Yesterday's entry was on the Mystery of Failure by Dom Benedict Baur from Light of the World. What a reminder that to be truly united to Christ means to be united to the cross. Suffering is not a curse, but a true sharing in the life of Christ. And, since suffering is unavoidable, why not make the best of it and allow the Lord to draw us close to Himself. This meditation truly called to me to change my attitude toward any suffering -- the big ones and the petty annoyances. Help me, Lord, to embrace all of them cheerfully! 

How great are the trials that beset the Christian, from the cradle to the gave! Sometimes those who are least deserving of pain suffer the most.  Te nearer they approach God, the more thoroughly they are purified by the fire of suffering. The more earnestly they strive to serve God, the more they are misunderstood, despised, repudiated, and persecuted by the world.  Sometimes they receive like treatment even from their friends."Because...I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you" (John 15:19). Even those who are nearest to us and whom we justly hold in high esteem desert us. Even those in whom we trusted consider themselves justified in deserting d rejecting us. These sufferings are certainly the deepest and most bitter.

Sometimes God Himself seems to have taken the side of our enemies.

We Are All Wounded Warriors. Let Us Go to the Great Physician for Healing!

Sometimes an article I read triggers awareness of a challenge in my own life or the life of someone I love. That happened this morning as I was reading Fr. MacRae's Divine Mercy for Doubting Thomas and Other Spiritually Wounded. My first thought on reading the title was that we are all spiritually wounded, some more than others. Unlike physical wounds, spiritual wounds can hide more easily. A cheerful disposition may mask deep pain, grief, and anxiety. The Roman martyrs went to their deaths singing, but can anyone doubt that they trembled with fear as they contemplated facing the beasts in the coliseum?

Get Real about the Christian Life! It's not Candyland!

Joy, fear and suffering represent the trilogy of the Christian life. We would all love it, wouldn't we, if every moment of our lives found us bubbling over with joy? Maybe some people have that expectation about the Christian life. Surely the prosperity gospel reeks of it; but it's a fairytale! There is no happily ever after this side of the veil at least as the world defines it. Everlasting joy will come only for those who love the Lord and persevere until the end. But to expect Easter joy without the passion and cross here on earth in our daily life is a pipe dream. Unless, of course, we embrace God's will in all its fullness and come to recognize joy in fear and suffering. Some of the saints surely did that; but how many of us even come close?

Good Friday Reflection by Fr. Tom Collins

Jesus Carries the Cross, Titian

Editor's comment: Father makes important points. I've highlighted the ones that struck me personally. We are living in challenging times, but times that can make us saints if we cooperate with God's grace. May we never forget that "All things work together for good to those who love the Lord and serve according to his purpose." So let us rejoice in the Lord always, especially when He allows us to participate in the salvation of the world by uniting our sufferings to His own. 

WE PROCLAIM CHRIST CRUCIFIED

by Fr. Tom Collins

A Prescription for Peace of Soul from Dom Lorenzo Scupoli

I sometimes think the Valley of Tears into which we are born is like the Valley of Death described by Tennyson in The Charge of the Light Brigade. The devil surrounds us and we are "stormed at with shot and shell" at every moment of our lives. Often we suffer wounds that can fester. We need the great physician to bind them up and set us on a journey of healing which is manifested by our success at achieving peace of soul. And, believe it or not, that journey to good health requires a prescription of suffering. If we want to be well, if we want to achieve true internal peace, we need to accept and even rejoice at the suffering we receive. It's unavoidable and inevitable, so let us make the most of it!

Sunday Meditation: Logic 101 from Fr. Tom Collins on the California Fires

I have a few comments before posting Fr. Collins' message.

Wildfires don't discriminate. Those living a Catholic life trying to obey God's commands can be caught up in devastating natural disasters along with their godless neighbors. Often the difference is in the reaction to tragedy. One L.A. family, the Halpins, came back to the ashes of their home where the only things standing were statues of Our Lady of Guadalupe and St. Joseph. Their reaction? Pray and sing. As Andrew, one of the six adult children said, “We have to give everything to God. And if that means our home at this time, we choose to trust that we’re in the palm of his hand.” Amen!

O Key of David...Free the Prisoners!

 

In many ways we are all prisoners in this valley of tears. Only death can free us.

Sunday Meditation: "Take up your cross and follow me."

As a member of the Church Militant (not the Church Milquetoast), I believe in studying warriors' manuals. One of them is The Spiritual Combat by Dom Lorenzo Scupoli, a 16th century priest. The book was a favorite of St. Francis de Sales, master of the spiritual life, who carried it in his pocket and read from it every day. He also recommended it to his spiritual sons and daughters. One can't go wrong with such an effective manual for fighting the world, the flesh, and the devil.

What If...? Questions I'm Thinking About Today...

 

What if...:

• ...people spent less time complaining and more time saying, "Thank you?"

• ...people recognized that all suffering is used by God to bless us instead of bewailing their fate and being angry at God?