While I was at the beach, my grandkids were feeding goldfish to the seagulls. We were at Assateague Island National Seashore and it turns out that it's illegal to feed seagulls at national parks. Gosh, who knew? My two year old grandbaby could face a $5,000 fine and spend up to a year in jail.
Meanwhile, Maura Healey, the faux Catholic governor of Massachusetts, where it's also illegal to feed seagulls, recently signed a bill allowing babies to be killed in the birth canal. Just slit that unwanted little parasite's neck so he comes out dead. But don't feed the sea gulls; it can send you to jail.
That, friends, is the definition of hell. We all know that baby seals and eagles' eggs are protected. And now we know that seagulls have rights too. Although the seagulls love goldfish. They might not appreciate their right not to be fed by the tourists.