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Wednesday, July 18, 2018

God Secretly Watched "The Lone Ranger" on His TV Set in 1949

I'm pure evil. What're ya gonna do about it?
God got the idea of Donald J Trump as POTUS from secretly watching the 200+ episodes of The Lone Ranger on His TV set from 1949 to 1957. 

God liked Clayton Moore's role of a brave masked man fighting evil, rescuing the day. In the TV series all the evil of the world was personified by Lee Van Cleef as the Kansas Kid or Joe Singer or Bull Harper, Jango or whatever other sinister character lurked behind every rock to leap out with guns blazing thereby destroying the equanimity of the happy townsfolk. 

So in real life, when times got tough with the Left and Communism and Islam and the EU, the OIC, and Dhimmicrats out to banish Him from the face of the earth, God, remembering His happy moments watching The Lone Ranger, looked around and thought, "Hmmm. The world needs another Lone Ranger, 'a man whose presence brings fear to the lawless.' Whom shall I send?" 

He looked down surveying His creation and all mankind. He looked at every country to see which one He would choose to lead the way and His eagle eyes finally rested upon America which at that moment was trying with its collective mind to decide which path to take - the path to evil and tyranny or the path to goodness and Truth? The sinister path of evil leading  the world down an irreversible path to destruction or the path to MAGA to be a shining beacon of strength in the world, telling the truth, pointing out fake news and driving the other side insane, driving the other side back.

After His decision that it would be America to turn the tide, God surveyed her from sea to shining sea looking for the perfect individual to play the role of His beloved Lone Ranger since Lee Van Cleef was now everywhere as wickedness sneering, snarling, daring any good leader to stand up to him, and God needed a man just right for the job.

This is not Clayton Moore.
This is the fake Lone Ranger.
At first He looked in vain and nearly despaired of ever being able to select anyone because what the world needed was a man who didn't care what other people thought, a confident man, a man so rich that he couldn't be bought and a man so intelligent that he could outplay the world. He needed another Lone Ranger, but where was he? 

Alas! There he was, in plain sight all along! Of course! The man Ronald Reagan once asked to consider running for POTUS. Donald John Trump! God smiled in glee as He looked into the future. 

Here was a man who could outplay the world, outsmart its leaders, a man with an IQ of 156 (Einstein's was 160), a fearless man who, because of all that he was, engendered hatred from his enemies. 

This man's wife was stunning and graceful and almost as famous as her husband. If he could not smack the world back into its proper place, she could, because if they hated him, they were also jealous because of her. Ah! A man who could trigger hatred and jealousy. The perfect match! And he was adept at Twitter too!! 

At last God had His plan in place and made it so that Donald Trump rode into the White House to turn the tide.

God now relaxes by watching reruns of The Lone Ranger on His updated viewing preference, His divine tablet. In His mind's eye, He no longer sees Clayton Moore as the Lone Ranger, guns blazing, riding Silver to the top of the hill in order to survey the state of the land. He sees the one lone man, President Donald J Trump, mouth blazing, in the White House at the top of the world, fighting evil across the globe, driving it back. Holding wickedness at bay. Driving the Left insane. Making them foam at the mouth.

And God was pleased.
A fiery horse with the speed of light 
A cloud of dust and a hearty hi-o Silver
The Lone Ranger! DONALD J TRUMP!


Phinnpoy said...

Hi-Yo Donald away!

DB said...

Love it! Thanks.

Dan Becker