Remember, Alligator, That Thou Art Dust...

Really!? A Q-tip?

Topsy and Tuptim have escaped snow and ice in the north to enjoy a Winter holiday at a Florida wildlife preserve. Neither of them sleeps very well in a hotel and are bemoaning the bad dreams they had last night.

Topsy: I had such bad dreams last night and got so little sleep and had a terrible nightmare. I kept waking up screaming, "No God! No!! No-o-o. Pleeeease!" ...Didn't you hear me?

Tuptim: That was you? I thought it was me. I had nightmares too. What was your dream?

Topsy: I was following an alligator into his underwater den. Then everything got really crazy. It looked like an ugly modernist chapel.

Tuptim: Oh my gosh! That was my dream too except I was being chased by the alligator!

Topsy: Did you end up in a chapel? 

Tuptim: Yes!

Topsy: What did it look like?

Tuptim: I couldn't figure out whether I was in Orlando or LA. It reminded me of the West Coast Religious Ed Conference with a table and dancing girls and everything was purple! It was Ash Wednesday and it was so weird.

Topsy: And Cardinal Cupich was the celebrant? (Tuptim nods vigorously.)

Tuptim: And Father James Martin was the Master of Ceremonies. He was wearing a purple chasuble...