The Babylon Bee Pegs the Gender Insanity with the Help of an Alien!

"I get it. there are men and women and people who are mentally ill. (Talking into his wrist device) This planet has no sign of intelligent life. I recommend to destroy."

 

Everybody's making their 2022 Predictions; My Favorites are from the Babylon Bee!

Here's a post that's just for fun. In a society so filled with bad news we can all use a laugh or two. Amazingly, at a time when real news looks like satire, the Babylon Bee still does satire so well and makes us laugh at the insanity! God bless their writers!

The Babylon Bee's Top Predictions For 2022

It's that time of year again—when the infallible prophets at The Babylon Bee tell you what will happen in the next year with 100% accuracy! Will 2022 be better than this year? You decide! 

Will Ben Carter and Mundabor be the Next Targets for "Church Malevolent" Lawsuits?

From the Asperges; "Mundabor"

Thanks to Mundabor's blog, I recently discovered Ben Carter's YouTube channel, the Garden Shed. Carter has a series of videos spoofing "Church Malevolent." Carter is an SSPX member living in Portugal and he considers Michael Voris a dangerous individual, the "enemy of tradition," who "insults and condemns every decent Catholic out there" and is "undermining the entire office of the episcopacy." Carter describes himself as a "nobody... just a layman...trying in [his] poor way to be a Christian." He describes Church Militant as a "horrible, gutter, tabloid, disgusting, lying, dissembling, wicked organization" whom he believes are "dangerous and doing a lot of damage" to the Church.

Remember, Alligator, That Thou Art Dust...

Really!? A Q-tip?

Topsy and Tuptim have escaped snow and ice in the north to enjoy a Winter holiday at a Florida wildlife preserve. Neither of them sleeps very well in a hotel and are bemoaning the bad dreams they had last night.

Topsy: I had such bad dreams last night and got so little sleep and had a terrible nightmare. I kept waking up screaming, "No God! No!! No-o-o. Pleeeease!" ...Didn't you hear me?

Tuptim: That was you? I thought it was me. I had nightmares too. What was your dream?

Topsy: I was following an alligator into his underwater den. Then everything got really crazy. It looked like an ugly modernist chapel.

Tuptim: Oh my gosh! That was my dream too except I was being chased by the alligator!

Topsy: Did you end up in a chapel? 

Tuptim: Yes!

Topsy: What did it look like?

Tuptim: I couldn't figure out whether I was in Orlando or LA. It reminded me of the West Coast Religious Ed Conference with a table and dancing girls and everything was purple! It was Ash Wednesday and it was so weird.

Topsy: And Cardinal Cupich was the celebrant? (Tuptim nods vigorously.)

Tuptim: And Father James Martin was the Master of Ceremonies. He was wearing a purple chasuble... 

Time Out for a Laugh Break

What you can learn about patriarchy from this picture.

We publish a lot of serious stuff on this blog -- a whole lotta serious stuff! The downside to that is it can be disheartening and make one want to crawl under the bed with a snuggy and a pacifier. For warriors in  the Church Militant that's not an option.

Besides -- a better antidote is to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

Which is why I like reading the satire site, The Babylon Bee. So take a look at the linked article and remember, the devil is humorless. He can only snicker over filth. Laughter belongs to heaven. People often fall into serious sin because they take themselves so seriously. They may start out with good thoughts and intentions, but then come to believe they have the answers to all of life's problems. They don't need God; they may not even believe He exists. Lenin, Hitler, Marx, Stalin, Freud, Kinsey, Sanger, Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, Pete Buttigieg....They all believed their ideas would create the brave new world, a manmade utopia. It's a blessed thing to prick their egomaniacal inflated opinions with a little mockery. Go, Babylon Bee!

I LOVE SATIRE! Think I'll call myself the Babylon Beekeeper.

A few of my readers at the Babylon Beekeeper

Have you heard the one about the fact checker who labeled as fake news the story that said CNN just bought a washing machine to spin the news? It was actually a blender!

Really, the goofs at Snopes have a vendetta against the satire site, The Babylon Bee. They've been labeling their articles "fake news." Because some people take the Bee seriously, Snopes claims the website is a fake news outlet despite the fact that it's clearly identified as a satire site.

Snopes does this of course, not because some people take the articles seriously, but to undermine the Bee's ability to continue. The tech giants use algorithms to censor groups that spread "fake news." They are notorious for censoring, defunding, and deplatforming conservative sites as well which the Bee is. (Chronicles Magazine had a great article on this in the July issue. I personally recommend the magazine as a faithful chronicler of our cultural morass and entertaining as well.)

It's Magic: Human Rights Depend on Purple-Winged Fairies (Or Aliens)

Pro-aborts continually claim science for their point of view. Hey, pay no attention to that ultra-sound or the scientific measurements of brain waves and heartbeats. Babies  Blobs in the womb aren't human. They are just...uh...um...mmm... cantaloupes? carrots? brussel sprouts?

Sometimes you just gotta laugh -- So do it and then pray for the pope!

Eye of the Tiber had a hilarious post yesterday and since laughter really is the best medicine when you feel like crying over the state of the Church, I offer EOTT's post as a medicinal survival prescription. They prove that satire is still possible in the crazy times we live in when the entire culture seems like a satire! Isn't it sad when so much of what our pope does seems like satire?

Pray for the pope! The best thing that could happen is for him to return to the faith of our fathers. [Hat tip to my masked friend, Sweat, who alerted me to this post.]

FEBRUARY 8, 2019 BY EOTT  

 FILED UNDER GOOD HOUSEKEEPING

Marie Kondo Called In To Help Tidy Up Vatican; Gets Rid Of All 

But Five Bishops !

Sometimes Satire is Totally on Target. It's ALWAYS about the MONEY!

Democrats Warn That Defunding Planned Parenthood Will Reduce Access To Essential Campaign Donations

Does anyone really doubt that this isn't the mentality behind the Democrats' support for Planned Parenthood which borders on adoration? Even after the baby body parts scheme was exposed, the Democrats can't bring themselves to commit sacrilege by criticizing one of their best funding sources.

So read this as satire if you will, but know that there's more truth here than fiction. 

The Definitive Interview with Pope Francis

Eccles and Bosco just conducted the definitive interview with Pope Francis. It is such a relief to know that our Holy Father believes in hell:

Pope Francis admits that Hell exists

We have been lucky enough to be granted an interview with Pope Francis (yes, that Pope Francis). In fact we never actually met him, or spoke to him, but this is not considered necessary these days, and we have decided to make the whole thing up. Take it away, Francis!

"Yes, I know I allowed Scalfari to interview me - a 93-year-old lunatic who switches off his hearing aid when he interviews, doesn't take notes, and makes up his own account of what happened. And I know I've been fooled by him 489 times before. But we were told to forgive people 70 times 7 times, and this is the last," explained the Holy Father.
"And yes, Eccles, I do believe in Hell. Look, can you imagine something nastier than this?" [You'll have to go to the source to see the photos and the rest of the article.]

Thank God for laughter. It keeps us sane in an insane world.

Eccles Proves that Satire Can Survive Even in an Age Where Reality Seems Like Satire!

There's a new book out about Pope Francis. It's called The Dictator Pope and if you click on the title you'll go to a satire on its contents.

"Call me Generalissimo Franco".

OnePeter5, on the other hand, has a serious article about the actual book.. It sounds interesting and worth reading to get a fuller picture of what's going on at the Vatican with our "jolly, smiling" pope. According to an article in the UK's Catholic Herald, the book has "sparked a frantic witch hunt" in Rome trying to find the author who wrote under a pseudonym. What will they do if they find him? Burn him at the stake?

Dedicated to the USCCB: It Is a Mercy to Spread Laughter!

I woke up this morning with a spoof running around in my head to the 12 Days of Christmas. Now, please don't think that this spoof means I don't take the Year of Mercy seriously. The Year of Mercy is a gift and blessing, an opportunity to reflect on the five corporal and five spiritual works of mercy and put them into action. I plan to make them sources of meditation at my weekly adoration hour and sources of action in my day to day living. I also plan to make the Chaplet of Divine Mercy a regular devotion during this year. Certainly, let us devote ourselves to growing in Mercy this year.

But, in view of all the loony stuff going on among churchmen today,

Ring of Fire Acting Up -- A Warning?

Chile had a major 8.2 quake last night. Check it out here. A 5.1 quake hit L.A. last week. The entire "ring of fire" is very active at present. 

And what's going on at Yellowstone? A 4.8 quake on March 30, the largest since 1980. 

Well, my theory is that every time we sin we open up a fisher and pump extra heat down into the lower and hottest regions of hell and all that heat is building and getting ready to explode. So if you want to avoid a super-explosion and the accompanying tsunamis and other excitement, repent, go to Confession, pray for God's mercy, and be faithful to the duties of your state in life. It's good for your soul and good for the environment!

By the way, the National Park Service says it's safe to visit Yellowstone. There's no danger of an imminent eruption. And if they're wrong, what a spectacular way to go, eh?

I Love Satire: But How Many Liberals Will Think It's For Real...

...and call in the EPA?

Area Student Arrested For Making A “Tornado in a Bottle”

Good thing he didn't open the bottle. Imagine the consequences!

Gather Hymnal Parodies: Get Ready to Laugh!

Listen for the Brady Bunch bit to Here I Am, Lord! It really fits. And watch out for those eagles wings so you don't end up in the nest on the cliff!



Gather is PERFECT for liturgical dance!



And from Fr. Z's blog

Sometimes the best way to deal with the ridiculous is to...well...treat it like it's ridiculous! I nominate Marty Haugen, David Haas, Carey Landry, and Dan Schutte for Most Banal and Ridiculous Music Used in a Liturgical Setting.

And the winner is..........All of them because they all sound so boringly similar and silly.

Ban Baseball Bats!

Okay, folks, it is time to recognize the evil of baseball bats and get them off the streets. Please petition your congressman to introduce a bill banning and confiscating all baseball bats. We also need "baseball bat free zones" around every school in the country. Let's reduce the danger and violence that these weapons represent to our neighborhoods!

Knee Slapping Message from Bishop Kevin Boland: He's Beating the bushes for Fallen Away Catholics

I had to laugh and shake my head when I saw the video below, a message from the Bishop of Savannah, Kevin Boland, to Catholics who left the faith. He urges them to "come home. "Please take the occasion to attend a Mass in your neighborhood," he says with a straight face.

When I heard that I had to shake my computer. Did he say what I thought he said? Isn't this the same bishop who has legally enjoined an ardent practicing Catholic, homeschooling dad, Robert Kumpel, from attending his neighborhood parish...FOR YEARS?

Sure is!

If you want to read about Bishop Boland's vindictive crusade against Robert go here and here. And for an unrelated article about Bishop Boland which may help explain why he would persecute an orthodox Catholic, go here. 

Mark Russell, a political satirist, once said that the essence of satire is poking fun at inconsistencies. He jokes that when he was young he dodged the draft by joining the Marine Corps. Well, you get the idea. I think Bishop Boland should audition for comedy central. He's got the inconsistency part down pat. 

Unfortunately, Robert and his family aren't laughing. He and his wife and children rarely go to Mass together because she plays the flute in the choir and he often takes the kids and drives nearly an hour to the next closest parish. Daily Mass, once a common practice, is a thing of the past.

As for Bishop Boland, he's out beating the bushes for fallen away Catholics while beating the heck out of a faithful Catholic dad who never left. If that isn't fodder for satire, I don't know what is. I wonder....if Robert  responded to the Bishop's abuse by leaving the Church, would the shepherd welcome him back with open arms? Somehow I can only picture him using that shepherd's crook to beat off a lamb he finds annoying.

Stop! Don't Eat that Hot Dog!

Please, tell us it's a joke. According to an editorial in the Washington Times, the government has a new safe-sandwich project underway. Hot dogs!

A handful of children die from choking on hot dogs every year, so the government is about to regulate a new safer shape to prevent choking. Of course grapes are at least as big a culprit so maybe they will regulate grape vines. And since some children drown in the ocean, perhaps the government can pass a safe-wave law as well. Heck, while we're at it, why not a law against eating grapes and hot dogs altogether and make it illegal for any non-swimmer to be on the beach. We can create a new Department of Safety and bring all the safety rules under its purview. They can regulate the size of Mom's apple slices at home and ban peanuts and peanut butter. After all, some kids have allergies and you never know when a visiting child might raid the pantry and get into the killer peanut butter. No doubt the new department will have visiting home-safety agents to make sure that at-risk families comply with all safety laws and regulations. 

It's mid-morning and, no doubt, you have probably broken six or eight laws that you don't even know about. A tyrannical government makes as many laws as possible and then selectively prosecutes. Everybody is guilty of something, after all, so it's just a question of scheduling the trial. Welcome to Kafka-land where bureaucrats rule and the people wonder what they did to deserve the latest government restriction on their choices.

A Safe Schools Czar who Writes Gay Porn...He's an Alien in Disguise!

I think this administration originated on another planet and all its wonks and talking heads are really aliens disguising their true forms under laser holograms. After all, how else can one explain Obama naming a porn pusher to oversee "safe schools." Here's an excerpt from World Net Daily's article about porn-pushing alien, Kevin Jennings:

A pro-family organization is reporting a publisher of "gay erotica" sought out Kevin Jennings, who heads President Obama's office of Safe Schools in the Department of Education, to write a book [Becoming Visible] aimed at encouraging homosexuality in high schools and colleges....

In Jennings' acknowledgements for the book, he writes,..."Sasha Alyson had the vision to conceive of this project, and I had the good luck to be the person he sought out to complete it. I am deeply appreciative of being afforded this opportunity."

The Mass Resistance report said, "If you peruse the collection on the Alyson website, it's mostly porn – 'erotica.' What is fascinating is the categories. Now, publishers only print what sells, so this is a good reflection, one might think, of what sells in the 'gay' community.

"They have very full collections under 'gay erotica' and 'lesbian erotica,' but only a few offerings under 'relationships' and under 'self-help,' we find this: 'Boy Crazy: Why Monogamy is So Hard for Gay Men and What You Can Do About it.'"

This guy is definitely alien to normal. Perversion is his norm and apparently the norm of the Obama administration as well. They want to turn America into an alien nation and they are doing a good job of it one alien czar at a time.