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Tuesday, May 26, 2015

The Love that Kills

A post at Abbey Roads sent me to the website of Joseph Sciambra, a same-sex attracted Catholic who left the gay lifestyle and returned to the faith after a road to Damascus experience. What he wrote describing his descent into the gay underworld really gripped me:
I walked slowly and steadily deeper and deeper into the black night of confusion and desperation. Stopped by God only at the very gates of hell.
Wow! Talk about recognizing that the path you are traveling leads to a precipice and a very evil end. What a grace!

Sadly, what enabled Sciambra's walk, he says, was the acceptance of his lifestyle by family and friends who, no doubt, thought they were being kind and "tolerant":

Like my former self, far too many homosexuals trapped (my emphasis) in the life have a plethora of straight friends and family members who give them unconditional love, never judge them, or question their initial entrance into the lifestyle; instead, they cooperate in a strange practice of “coming-out;” gushing and heralding loudly the gay person’s boundless bravery. After the hugs and kisses - none of those well-wishers follow that soul into the darkness of sexual perversity that awaits them.
Note the word "trapped." Slavery to sin is, indeed, an entrapment. And those who claim to love the person chained by the devil would do well to reflect on the key that releases them. Tolerance and encouragement of evil is NEVER that key. In fact the tolerance Sciambra describes, one that denies the truth and deadens the conscience allowing the loved one to sin without guilt, kills -- yes kills -- both the life of the body and the life of the soul. No doubt those who encourage the sinner on his evil path think they act in love, but, in reality, their behavior is a kind of hate, because it can lead the soul to wallow in sin until it's too late to repent.

How can I say that a parent or friend "supporting" a gay person is a kind of hate? Because love wants the greatest good for the beloved, eternal salvation. Hate desires the destruction of the other. And deadly sin, unrepented, leads ultimately to eternal damnation.

I doubt if anyone in PFFLAG (Parents Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) consciously desires the destruction of their family members and friends, but their behavior encourages that result because it perpetuates the lie that evil is good and sin has no consequences.

Frankly, I suspect the "love" these folks have is actually for themselves. They do not want to deal with the possible rejection of their children and friends, the likely result if they challenge their evil lifestyle. "What am I supposed to do?" they ask, "alienate my child, alienate m friend?" They fear the hate of the other more than they care about them going to hell. They would rather maintain an "I'm okay, you're okay" facade than risk confrontation.

What kind of love is that?

Sciambra goes on to describe his experience of almost daily attending funerals for friends who died of AIDS, many of them young. Think of it. The facts show that many new AIDS victims are young males who have sex with males. In 2013, the latest year for statistical data on new cases, the CDC (Center for Disease Control) tallied nearly 50,000 new cases of AIDS. Almost thirty-eight thousand were adult and adolescent males. In 2010, the CDC reported that about 26% of new AIDS cases were in young men aged 13-24 who had sex with men. What father in his right mind would cheer the coming out of a teenage son engaging in this self-destructive  lifestyle? What mother would wish for a short life and painful death for any of her children?

There is a key that releases the trapped soul. What is it? Jesus Himself holds it and offers to unlock the chains.  "If you abide in my word, you shall be my disciples indeed, and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." (John 8:31-32)

What is the truth with regard to human love and marriage? You'll find it in Genesis Chapter 1:
And God created man to his own image; to the image of God he created him. Male and female he created them. And God blessed them, saying: "Increase and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it."....And God saw all the things that he had made, and they were very good.
Men like Joseph Sciambra have lived the false promises of the evil one. They've chosen the perverted pleasures and found them wanting. They know that sin can never fill up the deep longing in the human heart.  Let us pray that, like post aborted women who are "silent no more," a legion of witnesses who left the gay lifestyle will also rise up to expose the ugly underbelly of the demon of lust and offer true freedom to trapped souls.


Anonymous said...

I know exactly what Joe Sciambra means. I once heard a Protestant minister give a sermon on the radio, and he said sometimes we must leave a situation and not look back, or like Lot's wife we turn to stone.

I have had to do that many times in my life. I have had to leave "friends" whose behaviors were taking me places I did not want to go, or who were keeping me from growing mentally or spiritually. That does not mean that I refused to speak to them when and if I saw them; it just means that I avoided having them as good friends. Surprisingly most of these people God never put in my life again.

At times we can truly help others who are in error, but sometimes we cannot, and then we should avoid that situation. Knowing the difference is important to us both physically and spiritually. We should pray for that discernment.

From California

CatholicPB said...

I invite you to become a "Lourdes Loyalist".

Anonymous said...

Very similar to the concept of enabling an alcoholic or drug addict. You help NO ONE by just going along with their destructive lifestyle. The problem is a lack of REAL faith on the part of family members and friends, and a misguided desire to be considered "nice" and "tolerant". I'd like to blame it on poor catechesis, but I've seen too many "gray heads" enthusiastically approving of whatever the sin of the moment is.