Praising God that COVID and all the Nonsense of Closed Churches is Behind Us!

Sometimes it's a good thing to remember the lunacy of previous days so that we can do all we can not to repeat them. I was in Florida visiting my friend Susan in 2021 during what I can only think of as the Lunacy COVID Twilight Zone Time. Fortunately, things were normal at the SSPX chapel in Sanford where we went for Ash Wednesday, but lunacy reigned in many other places. Priests really were using Q-tips to distribute ashes. Have you forgotten? I thought it was worth looking back on the insanity and promising ourselves never to let the hoaxsters and hucksters delude us again. So I repeat the blog post Susan and I wrote together using our alter egos Topsy and Tuptim. Don't fast from laughter this Lent. Smile and spread cheer as an alms that's good for both the mind and the heart.

Remember, Alligator, That Thou Art Dust...

Really!? A Q-tip?

Topsy and Tuptim have escaped snow and ice in the north to enjoy a Winter holiday at a Florida wildlife preserve. Neither of them sleeps very well in a hotel and are bemoaning the bad dreams they had last night.

Topsy: I had such bad dreams last night and got so little sleep and had a terrible nightmare. I kept waking up screaming, "No God! No!! No-o-o. Pleeeease!" ...Didn't you hear me?

Tuptim: That was you? I thought it was me. I had nightmares too. What was your dream?

Topsy: I was following an alligator into his underwater den. Then everything got really crazy. It looked like an ugly modernist chapel.

Tuptim: Oh my gosh! That was my dream too except I was being chased by the alligator!

Topsy: Did you end up in a chapel? 

Everybody's making their 2022 Predictions; My Favorites are from the Babylon Bee!

Here's a post that's just for fun. In a society so filled with bad news we can all use a laugh or two. Amazingly, at a time when real news looks like satire, the Babylon Bee still does satire so well and makes us laugh at the insanity! God bless their writers!

The Babylon Bee's Top Predictions For 2022

It's that time of year again—when the infallible prophets at The Babylon Bee tell you what will happen in the next year with 100% accuracy! Will 2022 be better than this year? You decide! 

The Laugh of the Day: Of Silly Trolls and Tattletales!

Several trolls like to visit my blog and fly around like moths to a flame. They hate what I do and say, but can't stay away. Frankly, I find that puzzling. If you don't like someone's opinions and their posts, why do you waste your time reading them? Do you just like to fight? Really...get a life!

When the World is Falling Apart, Sometimes You Just Gotta Laugh!

Conversation overheard between two Islamophobic, fundamentalist, hate-mongering, orthodox Catholic women after the terrorist attack in Brussels:

Topsy: The world really is collapsing thanks to our stinkin’ political tyrants and stupid bishops!

Tuptim: Yes, and the Pope while in Africa had an Imam ride around with him in the Pope mobile, both standing there dressed in long white robes. Subliminal message being that both religions are equal.

Topsy: These days I feel like the “rock” is one of those things made out of paper mache for movie sets.

Dedicated to the USCCB: It Is a Mercy to Spread Laughter!

I woke up this morning with a spoof running around in my head to the 12 Days of Christmas. Now, please don't think that this spoof means I don't take the Year of Mercy seriously. The Year of Mercy is a gift and blessing, an opportunity to reflect on the five corporal and five spiritual works of mercy and put them into action. I plan to make them sources of meditation at my weekly adoration hour and sources of action in my day to day living. I also plan to make the Chaplet of Divine Mercy a regular devotion during this year. Certainly, let us devote ourselves to growing in Mercy this year.

But, in view of all the loony stuff going on among churchmen today,

Praying to St. Jude Can Bring a Smile to Your Face and a Chocolate Bunny to Your Easter Basket

One of my email friends (thanks, Mary) sent a message this morning and it brought a smile to my face. So I share it with you, dear readers, and hope you enjoy it as well.

So today while praying my rosary, I put my reading glasses on and glanced down at the center piece medal on my rosary.
It was a St Jude medal.

Hat Tip to Gilbert and Sullivan: "I am the Very Model of a Modern German Cardinal"

Listen here. Too sadly true, but still funny:

Then I can write an article in favour of adultery
And praise unclean affections both unnatural and desultory
In short, in things political, peripheral and marginal
I am the very model of a modern German cardinal.

Laugh of the Day from Fr. Z's Comment Section: Turn Down that Air Conditioner!

Fr. Z has a post on the encyclical and, as I was reading the comments, I had my first laugh of the day. Thanks to "Anj" for the laugh and to Fr. Z for his insightful and entertaining blog.

I now have ammunitation to persuade my wife to turn up the temperature control on the air-conditioning. She has it stubbornly set at 72 degrees F. Every time I sneek it up to 74, somehow she knows. Now, I can say: Stay! The pope has declared in his Encyclical that use of the air conditioner is a act of violence against our sister/mother the earth. Don’t you think we should nudge that thermostat up to 75? Maybe even 78? Otherwise, the next confession is going to have to add irresponsible air conditioning use to the list.

Some Fun Articles for Wednesday (or any day)!

Those Catholic Kids Could Swear and Fight

How We Think Helps Explain the Culture Wars

A Fun Lesson in Grammar

Another Fun Lesson in Grammar (Can you tell I like Anthony Esolen?)

And a Fun Game Called Utter Nonsense (I'm ordering this one.)

I Love Fr. Z's Sense of Humor! Something We All Need These Days.

Things are never so bad that humor can't be poured on as balm. Think of all the martyrs who joked as they went to their deaths and other saints who made laughter part of their ministry. (Don't take my quotes literally; I'm writing them from memory.):

•  St. Lawrence being cooked on a grill -- "Turn me over; I'm done on this side."
• Thomas More moving his beard out of the way of the executioner's axe. "My beard has done no harm." Also, "See me safe up (onto the executioner's platform); as for my coming down, let me shift for myself"
• St. Bernard of Clairvaux, on finding his monks trying to get rid of a swarm of flies in a church about to be dedicated, solemnly said to the pesky bugs, "I excommunicate all of you," giving his monks a hearty laugh.
• St. Teresa of Avila didn't even mind tweaking the Lord. I think everyone has heard the story of when her carriage lost a wheel in a muddy stream leaving the nuns to wade out of the water. Hence her famous admonition to the Lord, "If you treat your friends like this, no wonder you have so few."
• And then there is irrepressible Don Bosco. Some people thought he was crazy and wanted to have him institutionalized. They went to pick him up and take him to the insane asylum, but, knowing their intent, he insisted they get in first. As soon as they did, he slammed the door and called to the driver, "Quick! To the asylum; they're expected!"

Anyway, I appreciate Fr. Z's quick wit:

Happy Sisters...no bus in sight! (See the rest of the post -- with pictures -- here.)

And then there's this post about Pope Francis popping into the employee cafeteria for lunch. 

Humor is a life saver. And think about it. Can you imagine the devil laughing a good, hearty, Chestertonian laugh? I can't. All I can imagine is a dirty snicker. Satan no doubt invented pornography and potty mouth. But real humor? That's as alien to him as heaven!

A Funny Real-Life Story from My Sister: Gotta Laugh!

I had a "Carol Burnett" ten minutes yesterday that I have to share for a good chuckle--even a rip-roaring laugh AT MY EXPENSE. I am still chuckling-I am easily amused.

I was grocery shopping yesterday at our local store and they had a big special on sodas-12 packs for 4 for ten dollars. So along with many other groceries, I figured I would stock up for two holiday parties with my twelve grandchildren. (Sodas are a treat so I try to get them for big celebrations.)

I purchased 16 cartons and then had to stack then high in my overly full of "stuff" Honda accord. So picture 16 -12 packs of soda in back seat....I have a back door that is not working well (14 year old car) but I had to fit sodas in so I used it and then shut the door.

I pulled out to the roadway (a four lane highway) and saw on my left a ways away an 18 wheeler, so I made the right turn swiftly and "lo and behold" my left rear door flew open and soda cases went bouncing out on the street.

 I pulled over and hopped out and sodas were rolling everywhere.  The 18 wheeler had stopped a few car lengths out and several folks (maybe 6 to 8) came running to scurry and retrieve 40 plus cans of sodas rolling all over the street and my brother's carton of cigarettes.

The retrievers placed the sodas on the side of the street in the recovery and one lovely young African American woman stayed to help me place all the sodas back in my car -cans by cans. I thanked her and asked her  her name . I thought she said Inka. So I told Inka for going the extra mile she was in my prayers all day. She even took the leaking can that was hosing out soda everywhere to the trash can for me.

So for all your "Carol Burnett, Red Skelton and Lucille Ball , keystone cop" moments...say a prayer and give thanks...all of my soda were returned. I only lost two or so in the incident from breakage and went on my merry way laughing at myself all the way home.

I am certain the driver of the truck was laughing out loud with this not so little white-haired lady and her 8 or so "Good Samaritans" scurrying around the roadway to retrieve cans. Now if only someone got a video of this I could send it to America's funniest home video and make a cool $10000 if I won.

BTW I told this story to a number of staff and residents at the nursing home and Hal, one of the residents at the Hebrew Home suggested if it had been cans of Sclitz maybe not so many of them would have been returned. I laughed and so did he.

So give thanks even for the stupid and ridiculous moments in your lives....you may even meet an Inka and see the goodness of the Lord. I ,also, want to mention no one honked with impatience nor was their any unkindness in the moment.

 So many people out there are good and generous. Remember that in your daily walk. Many people will rise to the occasion and the moment. So my FLASH mob was a great one !!! I wish I had everyone's names to pray for so I will just pray for all Good Samaritans out there.
Peace and Prayers,

Remember Rube Goldberg?

Amazing what animal trainers can do. And note the border collie. They are among the smartest animals on the planet. Our border collie of happy memory was adept at tricks. She could jump over a broom, through a hoop, she wouldn't eat Army grub, but loved Navy chow, and she loved to herd the grandkids. She would have been the perfect actress for this video!



And here's the man who started it all:

Rush Has a Point -- LOL!

And Snerdley makes a great point too. As for Sandra Fluke -- every time I hear her name I have to put my barf bag within reach.

Mark Steyn is a Hoot and He's not even a Big Bird

I always enjoy listening to Mark Steyn on the radio, but he's just as entertaining in print. This paragraph from a recent article made me laugh:

The United States is the first nation in history whose democracy has evolved to the point where its leader is provided with a wide-body transatlantic jet in order to campaign on the vital issue of public funding for sock puppets. Sure, Caligula put his horse in the Senate, but it was a real horse. At Ohio State University, the rapper will.i.am introduced the President by playing the Sesame Street theme tune, which, oddly enough, seems more apt presidential walk-on music for the Obama era than "Hail To The Chief." 

Read the rest of the article here.

Thank God There's Something to Laugh About!

You just gotta be grateful for Joe Biden. He gives us something to laugh about. Did you hear about him saying his dad "respected Obama"...well..."would've respected Obama." I guess he was trying to channel his dad.

Comic Legend Cheers Clint Eastwood Performance at RNC

I think Clint Eastwood's performance at the RNC was hilarious, despite being a little vulgar. The use of an empty chair was brilliant. Let's face it, the oval office has had an empty chair since the man was elected. Between Obama's non-stop campaigning and fund-raising and his busy vacation schedule, he's hardly spent any time in the oval office working for the people. Nevertheless, he's been very successful at undermining the country 1) by his use of executive orders to usurp the legislative role of Congress and 2) his appointment of "czars" to cabinet level positions usurping the role of the Senate's constitutional right to advise and consent. I have no doubt that this president has committed more impeachable offenses than any president in history. But politicians are skittish to criticize the first black president because the media instantly labels them as racists. The use of the empty chair could also be seen as addressing a man in the dock. He's been tried and found wanting as Eastwood made so perfectly clear. When a man isn't doing the job, it's time to "let him go."

The liberal pundits went into overdrive to label Eastwood's unscripted comedy routine "weird" and paint him as suffering from "dementia." But a comic legend saw his act a little differently and I thought his remarks were interesting and on target. Eastwood sounded as "demented" as George Burns with the same sense of perfect timing. And that is what comedy is all about. Here's a snippet of what Jackie Mason said and you can listen to the rest on the youtube audio below:

“Clint Eastwood was trying to do one thing. He was trying to do a comedy routine and it was a brilliantly conceiv[ed] comedy routine. And he purposely put on an act of being a little frazzled, of being a little old, to make it sound like he wasn’t being intentionally abusive or directly attacking anybody.”
Mason said that Eastwood intentionally tried to convey the “meanderings of an older person who happens to be saying these things.”
“And this was so artfully, perfectly conceived,” Mason added. “[Eastwood] hit the nail exactly on the head and he made a total idiot out of Barack Obama.”

Dummy Democrats Get Free Spelling Pass

Remember when the media ridiculed Dan Quayle for misspelling potato? Well, dummy Democrats have their own spelling and grammar blunders, but don't expect the media to say a word about that. After all, look how they treat Joe Biden (He's just so cute!). I was tempted to say idiot Joe Biden, but that would be mean, so I'll say stand up comic Joe Biden. After all, maybe he says all those idiotic things because he longs to play Laurel to Obama's Hardy. Ya think? And doesn't it make you feel safe and secure knowing that good ole Joe is a heartbeat away from the nuke button?

Chick-fil-A: They Have a Sense of Humor as Well as Good Chicken!

Well, honestly, I doubt if this came from Chick-fil-A, but it sure is funny. Hope you eat there this week!

O Bama...O Bama...O Bama

God Help the Sisters! Send Them a Little Conversion