Remember Snoopy from the Peanuts cartoon and his eternal quest to write a book beginning with Bulwer-Lytton's classic opening, It was a dark and stormy night? Bulwer-Lytton was a British author who wrote exceptionally bad prose, and the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is an annual event asking entrants to compose the worst possible opening sentence to a novel by using atrocious prose with terrible strings of adjectives ranging in categories from general to western, science fiction, romance and so on. Now a new genre has been added - the Amazon. It's in the religion category under the subcategory of heresy.
Book title - Feathers: The Current State of the Amazonian (Catholic) Church
Heresy hung heavy over Rome like a dank dark cloud of doom dripping its poison to form one giant river of Amazonian theology that flowed unimpeded through the Church with tributary streams to the parishes, trickling down to the soul of each and every man, woman and child, therefore, despite the flood of new pagan rituals, parish tree plantings and idol worship, the loss of faith soared.
Book title (under the category of nihilism) - The Convoluted Drivel in Current Jesuit Programs
Religion in the Amazon is about creating solutions and changing lives which is what is really true because it isn't about achieving; it's about who we are as we celebrate individuality by unity with the manifestation of expectation in the inclusive diversity of our lives, with our ultimate goal, after respectfully discussing the pros and cons, revealing nothing.
Book title - The Amazonian Mass Today: What Exactly Is It?
Bishop Bob raced into the worship space where he was soon to hold the liturgical festivities with the new woman priest who was to bless the pregnant Pachamama Fertility Goddess, when, as the celebrating presider at the table bringing the bread and wine of the Christ figure to the People of God, he was suddenly aware of something that the bishop of Rome had said, and wondered why Our Parent in Heaven would have us behave rather than live an alternative lifestyle, for after all, it was 2019 CE, and it was no more the times they were a changin' because the times had already changed and everyone was gay.
Book title (under the category of apocalyptic literature) - The Coming Storm
Since God frequently punishes sinful man by delivering him up to a reprobate sense and to the tyranny of the passions of his heart as a reward of his contempt of divine love, when the whole world shall renounce Christ and reject the authority of His Church then God's treatment of the world shall be like to that of individuals; He shall respond to its criminal desires, which stifles the love of those saving truths, and He will deliver the world up to the man of sin who shall consign it to the darkness of vice and Amazonian error since it rejected the light of truth and virtue - then Satan shall have universal sway for awhile over all nations.