My child, permit Me to do with you what I will, for I know what is best for you. You think as a human being and judge things according to human reason; but you are often swayed by your feelings and worldly attitudes, so that you can easily be deceived and make mistakes....My child, this is how you must stand if you want to walk beside Me: you must be as ready to suffer as to rejoice, as willing to be needy and poor as to be rich and have abundance...My child, I came down from heaven to save you; I took upon Myself your miseries, not because I had to do so, but out of love. I wanted you to learn patience and to bear the trials of this life without complaint, as I have done for you.
I'm a melancholic/choleric personality type. It's easy for me to treat my feelings as if they are the only reality. I saw an interview with a millennial once who said just that. Poor girl! Think of the implications of that. If you feel murderous hatred for another, well, give your feelings free rein and stab them to the heart, if not with a knife then with words. Slander them, gossip about them. Destroy their reputation. Hey, isn't it hypocritical not to act on your feelings?
Getting feelings under the control of the intellect and will is a lifelong struggle for many, certainly for myself.
What's the solution? Recognize feelings for what they are. They are not facts; they may not even be telling you the truth. Why are you angry, filled with hostility toward another person, ready to explode in rage? Maybe somebody pushed a button: a past experience, a long "forgotten" memory, an unresolved disagreement. Or maybe you're just tired or hungry or depressed because a friend or a beloved pet just died. Maybe you misunderstood or misinterpreted something someone said and just assumed it was a deliberate slam. Jumping to conclusions is sometimes a jump off the cliff of error.
When we let our feelings control us, we're like puppets on a string. You're angry? Lash out. Somebody hurt your feelings; return the favor with insults and unkind words. You feel happy? Share something intimate about yourself that you should have held in private.
Don't get me wrong. God gave us feelings for a reason. They are an important part of our nature. They urge us to act compassionately toward others, to want to defend the innocent because of feelings of horror over injustice. That certainly played a part in my pro-life activism when I participated in rescues at abortion businesses.
This morning, reading Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence, I received another message about feelings.
It is not what we feel that prepares us for God's grace, but the act of our will, and this act is not one of feeling. It may well be accompanied by pleasurable sentiments, but this adds nothing to the merit of it. In the sight of God the absence of this sentiment or even the presence of contrary ones which we do not wish to have in no way minimizes the value of the act itself.
Les us realize this fact, that prayer has no need of feeling in order to be of value. It consists solely in the movement of the will towards God, and by its nature this movement has nothing to do with feeling.
Wednesday is the day my husband and I spend an hour at Eucharistic Adoration. Often my time in front of the Blessed Sacrament feels dry and fruitless. I go anyway and I spend the hour continually calling myself back to awareness of where I am and with Whom I'm spending time. Today I think I'll imagine myself sick and helpless (as all we sinners really are), unable to speak. I will think of Jesus sitting there at my bedside with me. Perhaps He will speak, or maybe He will just look at me and I will look at Him. I will meditate on his Holy Face and beg for Him to take all my burdens and bring me to eternal life.
At rescue rallies and in jail, we used to sing this song. Today and every day, I want to cast all my burdens onto Jesus because He cares for me.
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