Calvin and Hobbes Explain It All for You!

I want to be a bird so I can fly!

We seem to be living in a world of make-believe, X-rated make believe in fact. Think about all the men who say they're women and the women who say they're men. Think about people who really believe that "men" can have uteruses and get pregnant and biological men can nurse babies. Crazy, eh? Not to mention the fat adult male who says he a six-year-old girl and was adopted by equally crazy "parents."

And don't forget forget all the furries out there who say they're animals. Species dysphoria is a real thing. I think it's still considered a mental illness at present, but just wait. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders will likely be updated to normalize another bizarre insanity. 

Feeling dizzy and disoriented, friends? Cheer up. Let Calvin and Hobbes explain it all for you. Like the machine invented by Dr. Seuss that could change plain old sneetches into star-belly sneetches (and vice-versa), the transmogrifier can fix all your problems. Just go in, press a button and be whatever or whomever you want to be: Napoleon, Ivan the Terror, Princess Leia, God.

Bruce Jenner and Chastity Bono are wealthy enough to have their own personal transmogrifiers in the basement. Can we soon expect transmogrifier clinics where the hoi polloi can join in the fun?

The next time you meet a transgender or a furry, ask where they got access to a transmogrifier. And then share the information with me. I've always wanted to fly. Once I go through the transmogrifier or use the transmogrifier gun, I'll jump off the roof to test my wings. Can't wait. Maybe I'll sell tickets.