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Sunday, November 3, 2024

1 Corinthians 13: Love is Not Jealous!

I'm still working my way through 1 Corinthians 13, St. Paul's description of love. In previous posts I addressed Love is Patient:

Patience

Planting the Seeds of Patience

Be Patient with Others but First with Yourself

I moved on to Love is Kind, which isn't as big a challenge for me, although some people might disagree. 

Moving on to Love is Kind 

Thanks to my mom's example smiling and a cheerful disposition are easy for me. And if you smile a lot, I think you generally treat others kindly. I always ask wait staff their names and try to thank them personally. Even when I argue with the Democrats manning the table at the polls, I do it with a smile. I laughed when the chubby, pink-haired lesbian told me Trump wanted to kill people like her. But that was in 2020. This year at the election office, no one had a table and there was no line. Voting early has some advantages.

My two big kindness challenges are with the interminable phone calls from health providers who heard about (take your choice) my back pain, my diabetes, my arthritis, etc. My challenge is to say sweetly, "I don't discuss my health issues with strangers on the phone." and not be rude and just hang up. The funny thing is that most of what they bring up aren't conditions I deal with. No one has yet asked to help cure me of old age.

The other challenge is with fellow drivers on the road. Sad to say I’ve been known to call some idiots when they tailgate or cut in front of me. Mea culpa.

So I only did one post on Kindness. I visit my sister in a nursing home every week and try to write several letters a month especially to say thank you for kindnesses I've received myself. I wish I had written more of those letters to my dear parents who sacrificed so much for their ten children. 

I also like to give away books I find helpful in my spiritual life. Lord, please give me other ideas of how to be kind. Hugging my husband goes without saying and thanking him for many kindnesses I've received from him throughout our married life. He is one of the kindest and most considerate people I've ever known. I wish more of his personality would rub off on me. 

Moving on, the next item on St. Paul's list is Love is not jealous. This is also a vice I have little problem with. Although I confess that in these days of thinning hair I notice more the elderly women with beautiful tresses. Which reminds me of a clip from Ann of Green Gables that always makes me laugh. You'll have to watch a few other clips in this series before you see it. 


I would like more than a few locks of white tresses, but I'm happy for women who still have an abundant supply. I admire their hair without envying them for it. I can always buy a wig or pretend I'm a member of the Star Treck Enterprise and simply be content with increasing baldness like the elderly lady I saw in a dress shop years ago who had only a few strands on her head. She didn't seem to be much bothered by it -- no wig, no hat. One can get accustomed to anything I suppose. 

I do not envy anyone their wealth. We have more than we need and our wants are humble. I have no desire for fancy vacations, cruises, new cars, expensive hotels, fancy clothes, gourmet foods, the best of wine, etc. Among my favorite dinners are hot dogs with sauerkraut and homemade soups that could easily be found in the fireplace of a medieval cottage with the residents reciting, "Peas porridge hot." Although I don't like peas. So perhaps my rhyme would begin "Beef porridge hot."

I suppose I should care about the peeling wallpaper in the bathroom, but I confess I don't. People visit to see us, not to inspect the house. I'm more concerned that everything is neat and clean. I do love my books and have more than I can read in my remaining years. Perhaps I will need to consider that when I think about the deadly sin of greed.

The secret to not being jealous, I think, is to love and enjoy what you have. I love my husband and trust him implicitly and always have. Once I had a health problem that caused the physician's assistant at my doctor's office to question his fidelity. I laughed and said he must be able to bi-locate. She called later and apologized after talking to the doctor. I told her not to worry about it, but I hope she never made the mistake with someone in a troubled marriage. I also love my chickens and my bees, and I enjoy sharing their eggs and honey. 

Not being jealous is no particular virtue for me. It's not very praiseworthy to avoid something that is easy and not a temptation. So I don't give myself any credit for not succumbing to jealousy. Any inclination I have to the vice would be to wish I had the same level of virtue I admire in others. I remember wishing I were as good a mom as a friend. But I wouldn't want to be a better mom at the expense of her being a worse one. Imitation is the best response. She taught me to scold my children with a soft voice. Sometimes I even succeeded.

I will spend the next few days pondering on jealousy and asking myself whether I am blind to a jealous streak somewhere in my character. If it's there, I count on my guardian angel and patron saints to reveal it to me. I know I can depend on them to poke me where I need it.

2 comments:

  1. "Lord, please give me other ideas of how to be kind."
    "Being kind ... Below are some good deeds you can do, starting right now.

    ● Pick up litter

    ● Check in on a friend who is going through a rough patch

    ● Donate blood

    ● Text someone good morning

    ● Hold the door open for someone

    ● Surprise your parents with a visit

    ● Send a positive message

    ● Leave a generous tip for a server

    ● Be an active listener

    ● Cook a meal for someone in need

    Acts of kindness might feel strange and out-of-character at first. However, Manly said this feeling goes away the more you keep practicing. Soon enough, it becomes so familiar you’ll notice the benefits on yourself and others."
    https://www.cnn.com/2023/11/13/health/nice-vs-kind-difference-wellness/index.html#
    50 random acts of kindness you can do today
    https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/kindness-and-mental-health/random-acts-kindness

    https://inspirekindness.com/blog/kindness-101
    I recently began reading "The Kindness Revolution" by Ed Horrell (book is about 20 years old) and learned kindness is the opposite of indifference - zero tolerance for indifference.

    https://www.amazon.com/Kindness-Revolution-Company-wide-Inspires-Phenomenal/dp/0814473075
    Definitions include: good will/benevolence, caring, compassion, empathy generosity.
    I think the first two: love is patient and kind is how we are supposed to treat others/what we are to do with our life and then the rest are how we fail/what gets in the way. I think in terms of the beatitudes this whole passage from Cor can be summed under "blessed are the poor in spirit" (what little progress I have made in my life if heaven was my aim).

    I was thinking in terms of your recent blog on unanswered prayers that two of the beatitudes: blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted (widow of Naim and St. Monica - God will be moved by tears to convert sinners/answer prayers) and blessed are they who hunger and thirst (fast) for righteousness/justice for they shall have their fill. Acts of Penance for our own sins and those of others: 1466 He must pray and do penance for his penitent, entrusting him to the Lord's mercy.
    https://www.vatican.va/content/catechism/en/part_two/section_two/chapter_two/article_4/viii_the_minister_of_this_sacrament.html
    https://www.livefatima.io/simple-acts-of-penance/
    Our Lady of Lourdes: “Go Kiss the Earth in Penance for Sinners”
    https://www.virgosacrata.com/our-lady-of-lourdes.html

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