It was a dark and stormy night in the Amazon

Remember Snoopy from the Peanuts cartoon and his eternal quest to write a book beginning with Bulwer-Lytton's classic opening, It was a dark and stormy night? Bulwer-Lytton was a British author who wrote exceptionally bad prose, and the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is an annual event asking entrants to compose the worst possible opening sentence to a novel by using atrocious prose with terrible strings of adjectives ranging in categories from general to western, science fiction, romance and so on. Now a new genre has been added - the Amazon. It's in the religion category under the subcategory of heresy. 

Book title - Feathers: The Current State of the Amazonian (Catholic) Church 
Heresy hung heavy over Rome like a dank dark cloud of doom dripping its poison to form one giant river of Amazonian theology that flowed unimpeded through the Church with tributary streams to the parishes, trickling down to the soul of each and every man, woman and child, therefore, despite the flood of new pagan rituals, parish tree plantings and idol worship, the loss of faith soared.

Are Married Deacons "Saying Mass" in the Amazon?

Pope Francis and Archbishop Zuppi --
Sources say they both approve! 

If this is true, and the source is credible, things are worse than we thought. The faithful are in the Amazon are being subjected to invalid "Masses" where bread and wine remain bread and wine. In other words, the "Eucharist" at those "Masses" is nothing but a symbol. How is that different than communion at Protestant churches? And if the pope actually said, "Go ahead," he is even worse than we thought.

As I write this I feel sick. And I mourn for the Church.

In the Amazon Married Deacons Are Already Saying Mass. And the Pope Knows It

Here's a bit from the article:

Amazon's new Sharia-compliant, fully Halal edition of Alexa!

"Introducing Aisha (aka Halalexa aka HalalSiri), Amazon's new Sharia-compliant, fully Halal edition of Alexa/Siri! This is the ONLY version of the Amazon Echo that Muhammad would approve of!" says Acts17Apologetics. 

Vocab Malone at his best!