Sometimes Ya Just Gotta Laugh! Steve Skojec is an "Empath."

I used to read Steve Skojec and liked his articles until I noticed how vitriolic and nasty he could be to people who disagreed with him. I don't mean people who engaged in tirades and ad hominem attacks; I mean people who just politely disagreed and tried to engage in Socratic dialogue. 

Nope! He would have none of it! If you don't love everything I say, you hate me!

He blocked a friend of mine for an innocuous comment. "Well," I thought, "Here's a man who is totally full of himself. Time to move on." So I stopped reading and did, in fact, move on, leaving OnePeterFive off my daily visit list. Now that Skojec no longer runs the site, I visit again.

Browsing Canon 212 the other day, though, I ended up on "The Skojec File" reading what I found a really hilarious self-promotion piece where Scojec, who obviously considers himself "non-judgmental," excoriated those who criticize his work and spent beaucoup words explaining how empathetic he is and how much he cares about people.

I couldn't stop laughing.

Now, I agree with Skojec that people can be uncharitable. Hey, I experience it myself with ad hominem attacks from commenters who tell me I'm going to hell for my opinions because they don't happen to agree with their own. Oh well! When that happens, I say a Hail Mary for them and move on. I don't post comments with ad hominem attacks. If someone wants to engage on an issue and disagree with me, fine. Just telling me I'm a fat cow and going to hell gets a click on the trash can icon.

Easter Sunday post dinner conversation was a rather intense discussion with some of my adult children and their spouses about the Novus Ordo (NO) vs. the Traditional Latin Mass (TLM) and how people approach them. Issues brought up were reverence, modesty of dress, judgmentalism, etc. No shouting...no unkindness...just discussion. They criticized what they see as division between those who embrace tradition and those who don't and the leaps to judgment that come from both groups toward the others. I did not take their criticism personally. I've received some of that in the past myself and still do from some commenting on my blog who think I'm wrong to ever attend the NO. But it cuts both ways. NO Catholics often label all those who attend the TLM as self-righteous and holier-than-thou. 

Well...people are quick to judge one another. I think the 8th Commandment is probably the one that racks up the most sins.

So it's helpful to question oneself when writing about or discussing these issues since the goal for all of us should be to attract people to the faith, not drive them away. Creating unnecessary division is counter productive. 

But there are some issues that mandate division. One can't back down on those. Abortion is a prime example. Euthanasia, assisted suicide, sodomy, fornication, and adultery are others. Jesus came to bring a sword to separate truth from the lie and good from evil. To be ambiguous on intrinsic moral evils is to sin by omission. But one can discuss even these issues calmly and treat a person in error with respect. To listen, to ask questions, to point out error...that is charitable and may touch a heart. 

Skojec does not appear to me to be a man who ever take's criticism well, and he seems to believe that everything he says is gospel truth. It seems that if you disagree with him you are the equivalent of a heretic. He also seems to consider all criticism a personal attack from people who "hate" him which is ridiculous. But here's what he says:

It’s difficult to admit, but the knowledge that people who are essentially perfect strangers can nevertheless find the energy to hate you and want to see you fail tends to sting. They want to see you suffer, simply because you hold ideas they disagree with. Despite my own generalized feeling of misanthropy (which, if I’m being honest, is mostly a reaction to this kind of behavior), I actually care about other people. I’d much rather help than hurt. I criticize other public figures, too, but I cannot imagine fixating on any of them with the kind of bile and vitriol I have often received. It looks to me like a kind of sickness.

Really? Scojec can read people's hearts and know that they are motivated by hate? And is he really so clueless about his own "bile and vitriol" which, as he says, is "a kind of sickness?" Skojec's hypocrisy is what drove me away from OnePeterFive when he was running it. I highlighted the section in the paragraph above because I think it exactly describes Skojec's attitude toward countless people who "hold ideas [he] disagree[s] with." Just one example: Scojek's attack on Ann Barnhardt. Does he hate her? He wants to start a go fund me to have her "brought in" and "tested for borderline personality disorder." No vitriol there, eh?

The next part of Skojec's piece was rather head-shakingly amusing. Skojec has discovered that he's an "empath." What's that you ask? Skojec spends beaucoup words telling us:

I could always walk into a room and take the emotional temperature lightning fast. I’ve often realized something was bothering someone else even before they did. But there’s a downside to this ability: you also tend to zero in on problems and the people who have them, because, as stated in the video, “That’s where the risk is.” The result can be caring overly much what other people think, because your fear regarding what others are thinking and feeling, and the threat this sometimes represents, leaves a deep imprint. Equating the perception of negative emotion with an impending blowup from someone who is more powerful than you — and as a child, that’s pretty much any adult — trains your brain to see all negative emotion as threatening. Especially when the negative emotion is pointed in your direction. If you, like me, learned to respond to that threat with a strong counterattack, you tend to get into a lot of hotheaded arguments with people who give you a hard time — even if your deeper emotional response is still fear, because the person you learned this behavior from was someone you were legitimately afraid of.

Wow! Skojec is a sensitive individual who can read people like a book. He can "zero in" on people's problems. What's particularly interesting is that Skojec pretty much admits here that he does to others what he accuses them of doing to him. But apparently his "bile and vitriol" are okay. Is the man completely blind or just so self-centered he judges himself, like the pharisees, by a totally different standard? I've seen some of his "strong counterattacks" and they can be pretty abusive. He calls it "evil" when other people do it to him, but seems to have a different take when he does it to others. 

I could go on with the rest of the article, but it's boringly narcissistic so I'll quit here.

Now, really, I'm asking myself, "Why are you writing about this? What triggered your interest?" I think it stemmed from another Easter conversation with my daughter and  granddaughter who was confirmed at the Easter vigil when her dad entered the Church. She wanted to be confirmed side by side with her dad which I found touchingly sweet. We were talking about feelings and why your reason has to control them and that it's usually a life-long struggle. Once you can control your feelings, St. Dominic says, you have mastered the world. When the reason and the will are in control and open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit you will never let your feelings take the front seat to control your actions.

Skojec needs to learn that lesson. He talks about being a victim of CPTSD, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, whatever that is. Well, there is certainly something unhealthy about the way he reacts to people and perhaps that's it. He seems to me to exhibit the immaturity of a child who lets his feelings determine his actions. Frankly, I get a little tired of all the psychoanalyzing. It reminds me of the scene in West Side Story when the Jets sing Officer Krupke. Does Skojec have a social disease?

Oh, one final comment. I tried to post a brief comment on Skojec's article just to point out the golden rule -- "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Skojec's own writing illustrates that it's a rule he ignores. Well, I couldn't comment because only "paid subscribers" are allowed. That made me laugh even more. It's one way to make sure only those who agree with you respond to your narcissistic posts.