A Modest Proposal to the U.S. Bishops from Bai Macfarlane: Lift the Divorce Mandate!

I've been asked to pass this press release on. The Blessed Mother told Sr. Lucy of Fatima that the last battle would be over the family. Let us all commit to praying and doing penance that our bishops will step up to the plate. St. Joseph, Pillar of Families, pray for us.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

 

Catholics are asking the U.S. bishops to drop the divorce mandate where dioceses require parties to be civilly divorced prior to the Church accepting a plea to investigate the validity of a marriage.  In the United States, there are two kinds of institutionally recognized marriage: State marriage and Church marriage. The Catholic Catechism says divorce is immoral and a grave offense against nature and in only tolerable in very limited circumstances.  However, dioceses instruct everyone who wonders if his/her Church marriage in invalid to first get a divorce of their State marriage.

Let's Hear it for Marriage and for a Bishop Proclaiming It!

Archbishop John Nienstedt of the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis has a great article on marriage in the Star-Tribune. Here are a few paragraphs that show this shepherd is on target about the proper nature of marriage. (You would think that was a given for a Catholic bishop, but we've seen too often that one can't take it for granted):

Throughout history, human beings in virtually every society have recognized that, to make a marriage, one needs a man and a woman. What is more, it has long been acknowledged that marriage is not just about the happiness of adults but concerns the well-being of society -- that is, the common good. Marriage exists in civil law primarily in order to provide communal support for bringing mothers and fathers together to care for their children. Same-sex unions cannot serve this public purpose....

Marriage is the way a man and woman bind their love into a lifelong commitment that is mutual, exclusive, and open to new life -- where they promise not only to love each other, but to love any children whom they create together. With that vow, the die is cast and the adventure of receiving and raising the next generation has begun.

The archbishop also takes a swipe at the disaster of no-fault divorce which has "liberated" so many single family households led by women into poverty:

Back in the early 1970s, the experts told us that no-fault divorce would liberate women from bad marriages without affecting anyone else. We now know that as many as one-third of women fall into poverty with their children as a result of divorce. Social science caught up late with the common-sense wisdom that children need a mom and a dad working together to protect them.

In other words, changing the law of marriage to enshrine no-fault divorce had unintended consequences that few predicted. Same-sex marriage represents an even greater challenge.

Congratulations to Archbishop Nienstedt for taking on this politically incorrect view of marriage. Let
 us hope the people of Minnesota are listening. And pray for the archbishop who is under attack by the gay cabal.

Is Your Marriage in Trouble?

Two people learning to be married and become "one flesh" is not an easy endeavor, particularly in a culture that says, "I have a right to be happy" every day, every hour, every second of my life. But the fact is that most things in life are difficult. The farmer who sets out to grow a crop has to first prepare the field. Think of the early settlers in New England who wanted to farm. They had to clear trees, remove rocks, till the soil, plant, water, and wait. They had to weed and fertilize. Only after a season could they finally harvest the crop. The long distance runner has to commit to long-term training before he runs his first marathon. The medal at the finish line is the least of his personal victories. They come with the dedication and commitment of the morning six-miler in the rain and the half marathon in summer's heat.

So if you are in a difficult marriage, know that your situation is normal. Don't be in a hurry to call it quits. If you turn to lawyers and the courts, your marriage is probably doomed because of the no-fault divorce system which enriches lawyers and the government at the cost of breaking up families.

Maybe you've been married only long enough to experience your first disillusionment. That's a marker on the road, not an ending. Perhaps there's been a betrayal or a deep emotional wound inflicted by the person you thought would be true forever. Don't give up without a fight. There are groups and sources dedicated to helping you live out a true covenant marriage. And there's a third person in your marriage who will do everything to help you succeed.

Obviously if you or your children are in physical danger you must immediately remove yourself from the situation, but even then intervention may help save your marriage. Those who abuse when they are drunk or high on drugs can embrace sobriety. People can unlearn bad behaviors if they make a daily decision to stay in the battle. Overcoming our bad habits and entrenched sins is no less a struggle than any war against evil.

G.K. Chesterton once said that Christianity hasn't been tried and found difficult. Rather it's been found difficult and left untried. The same, sadly, can be said of covenant marriage. But for those who hang in for the planting, the growth, and the backbreaking labor -- it is more than worth all the struggle and effort to reap the harvest - true joy.