"To Have and To Hold from this Day Forward"

I recently read an article about the need for couples to make their relationship a top priority, especially when family life gets hectic and demanding. I couldn't agree more. A husband and wife are married to each other, not to their children. Of course the offspring are important, but, as the saying goes, "The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother; the best thing a mother can do for her children is to love their father." And love doesn't just happen; it needs to be cultivated.

The Echo of Wedding Bells: A Blessing from Heaven!

 Hear the mellow wedding bells,

Golden bells!

What a world of happiness their harmony foretells!

Through the balmy air of night

How they ring out their delight!...

Oh, from out the sounding cells,

What a gush of euphony voluminously wells!

How it swells!

How it dwells

On the Future! how it tells

Of the rapture that impels

To the swinging and the ringing

Of the bells, bells, bells....

Our granddaughter married a wonderful man last Saturday. What a joyous bell-ringing celebration a wedding is! It gathered friends and family from far and wide. I saw two of my nieces for the first time in several years and had a chance to catch up since we sat at the same table. 

Before we left for the wedding, I was sick, which caused us to delay our departure for a day. Happily I recovered enough to go after dosing up with Vitamins C and D and drinking a disgusting immunity tea recommended by a friend. 

The Mystery of Life and Love

Little birdies in their nests agree. If they fight they fall out and get eaten by the cat!

Yesterday, Larry and I visited my sister in the nursing home in Frederick, MD. Traveling there and back is often an adventure, sometimes delightful, sometimes not so much. Last week our hour and forty minute trip home expanded to three and a half hours because of an accident on Interstate 81. Just saying those words, "Interstate 81," raises my blood pressure. We used our stop and start time to pray an extra rosary, especially for those in the accident, and to listen to an audio tape. It turned out one of the accident victims was the sister-in-law of friends. Fortunately, despite involvement with two tractor trailers, no one was seriously hurt, but the southbound highway was completely shut down for hours. 

Sunday Meditation: Family Matters

Larry's dad took a terrible two-story fall from a scaffold while painting the house.
He spent months in the hospital, but Larry's Mom made sure he kept up with new babies!

We’ve been visiting family in Wheeling the past few days to celebrate a bridal shower for one of our granddaughters, a lovely event. So many aunts, cousins, and friends reunited for a delightful afternoon. At our stage in life, reunions occur mainly at weddings and funerals.

Our entire weekend was focused on family including departed family members who have gone before us. While we were visiting at my brother-in-law's house, he brought out a large box filled with photos and memorabilia. How many memories of my husband’s family filled that box.

As the Synod Begins, A Faithful Shepherd Speaks a Warning!

If you've been watching the reports on the Synod on Synodality, two things are obvious  targets: marriage and the priesthood. First, it's clear that there will be discussions about blessing same-sex unions, a direct attack on marriage and its meaning. Second, women's ordination, an impossibility, is back on the table. It's a direct attack on the priesthood which means a direct attack on the Holy Eucharist, the central tenet of our faith.

Bishop Strickland has been very clear in recent letters about both the sacrament of marriage and the sacrament of ordination. In his letter of September 19, 2023, he specifically linked the discussion of marriage to the Synod which began yesterday:

On Our 54th Wedding Anniversary I Offer a Great Article on Marriage and Parenting

 I wish I had been so smart when I was that age!  

Dad Teaches Sons to Do Simple, Loving Acts for Mom Every Week, and It Changes Her Life:

A loving dad and his three young sons are showing the world the true impact of running regular errands for Mom.

Riverside, California-born Brooklyn Powell, 35, and her husband, Jonathan Powell, 36, live in their hometown with their four kids. When Mr. Powell, a business owner, took one of his wife's most challenging errands into his own hands one day, it was a game-changer for the overworked mom.....

Does Your Marriage Need Help? Psychologist Ray Guarendi May Have the Answer

Among his many books is this one describing what he's learned from his children

Dr. Ray Guarendi is a Catholic psychologist with ten adopted children and host of EWTN's 
program, The Doctor is In. He's written a book, Simple Steps to a Stronger Marriage. I suspect most of us married folk could use a little advice and assistance from time to time. In a National Catholic Register interview with Joseph Pronechen, Dr. Ray had this to say:

Why did you see the need to write this book?

If You Are Married or Egaged, Watch This Excellent Video.

I stumbled on this video yesterday while looking for something else. But I'm always interested to listen to both Kennedy Hall and Fr. Ripperger.

Wokeness, Wokeness Everywhere and Not a Brain in Sight!

My husband and I took a grandson student at James Madison University (JMU) out for brunch  yesterday. It is always a delight to be one on one with a grandchild, especially one on the cusp of independent adulthood. We enjoy every minute of those get-togethers and our conversation about what they are doing and what they hope to do in the future.

Do You Simply Stand Against What you Oppose, or Do You Witness For What You Believe?

I have just returned from a 12 day road trip with a friend who needed a companion along for the ride to Texas where she had the task of preparing her parent’s home to be sold.  It was also her goal to retrieve some precious treasures still in the house which were too large to be carried on a plane.  One such jewel was a cradle her father had made for his own children, including my friend, and which has now been slept in by most of his grandchildren.  

As we drove along, I read aloud from a tote bag full of books I had selected for the purpose of sharing specific chapters with my friend, a like minded Catholic, thoughtful, very smart, and leaps and bounds ahead of me, a convert, in knowledge of Church history and doctrine. 

Our trip each way took three days in the car so we had a LOT of time to read and discuss and read and discuss.  It was a kind of “retreat from the world” which whizzed by us, as we rolled along from one state to the next, and an opportunity to step outside our daily routines and spend the kind of time you generally only WISH you had with a good friend. 

Canon Lawyer Ed Peters Weighs in on Recent Papal Statements!

“For an infant to be baptized licitly … there must be a founded
hope that the infant will be brought up in the Catholic religion."
Canon 868        

And calls the pope's comment about most sacramental marriages being null "very bad." He also says delaying the sacrament of Baptism is sometimes used by priests to assist the parents toward "improving their ecclesial situation" and that he's never known of a priest to deny the sacrament only because a mother was unwed. Our pope may talk about mercy but his unmerciful actions speak louder than his words.

The great majority of Christian marriages are valid

And then there was the pope's calling priests who delay baptism "animals."

Instruction, not insults

Are You Willing to Suffer for Your Marriage?

Marriage is no piece of cake and it's becoming harder with the relentless assaults against it. I recently read an insightful article on the marriage battle and this paragraph really hit a chord:

Those manning the barricades describe themselves as "defending marriage." That is a deep inaccuracy: marriage, as an institution, was surrendered quite some time ago. Today's battles are not about marriage but simply about dividing the spoils of its destruction. It is too late to defend marriage. Rather than being defended, marriage needs to be taught and lived. The Church needs to be willing to become the place where that teaching occurs as well as the place that can sustain couples in the struggle required to live it. Fortunately, the spiritual inheritance of the Church has gifted it with all of the tools necessary for that task. It lacks only people who are willing to take up the struggle.

Are you willing to suffer for your marriage? Did you mean it when you promised to stick it out "for better or worse?"  Here's another paragraph to contemplate:

The classical Christian marriage belongs to the genre of martyrdom. It is a commitment to death. As Hauerwas notes: faithfulness over the course of a life-time defines what it means to “love” someone. At the end of a faithful life, we may say of someone, “He loved his wife.”

Do you truly love? Or did you make a mental reservation on your wedding day to stick with it as long as things weren't too difficult?

The best thing you can do for marriage today is be a witness to its permanence. Love is a decision not a feeling.

Interview with Cardinal Burke on Extraordinary Synod

This week's Wanderer carries an interview with Cardinal Raymond Burke evaluating the Extraordinary Synod on the Family. He points out some major problems with the outcome (no surprise to orthodox Catholics) including its giving the widespread impression that doctrine on marriage can change.

Does this sound familiar?

The Smoke of Confusion Fills the Sanctuary!

I haven't written anything about the recent wedding ceremony at the Vatican that included co-habiting couples. I've been too mystified to comment. But I read the article linked below today and can't disagree. I also didn't realize that the cohabiting couples did not apply, but were "handpicked" to participate. Huh?

If You Wanna Be Happy for the Rest of Your Life...

...start with a simpler wedding plan that won't break the bank! Consider that one of the big things couples fight over is money. Starting with a thrifty wedding makes a lot of sense to get your marriage off on the right track!

Costly weddings could be crippling for new marriages

The Marriage Foundation is focusing its mission on educating couples about the benefits of getting married and having children, and helping them to realize they can have a wedding reception focused on what’s important, rather than on extravagant spending.

Really -- do you need a $5000 dollar engagement ring and an $800 dollar dress? Do you need a fancy "venue" with a price tag to match? Will you be less married if you opt for simple homemade wedding cake instead of a gourmet, white chocolate, raspberry filled whatever? And do you really need a $500 limo for the thirty minutes you spend riding from home to the church and the church to the reception?

I love blogger Melissa Naasko's advice  “never ever, ever buy a bridal magazine...because they’re all geared just to sell stuff.” Yup...and the bigger and fancier the better...for the wedding industry that is.

Too many couples focus on all the wedding hoopla and think the marriage will take care of itself. But the wedding is just one day and only about 1/4 of a day at that. Focusing on the marriage makes a lot more sense and focusing on the people coming to the wedding rather than the hoopla makes even better sense. If you don't have a big back yard, how about renting a pavilion at a local park?

Everyone has talented family and friends who can help out as well. Wouldn't that be a great and more personal wedding gift than a blender? I hope backyard wedding receptions will become the rage. I've been to  a few and they were no less enjoyable (in some cases more so) than the extravaganzas at the hotels which, come to think about it, are more like cookie-cutter events. If you're planning a wedding, think simple. The money you save is better spent saving toward your first home. Invest in marriage, not in the wedding day festivities.

Thought for the day: Pray for newlyweds

Today we explored Spearfish Canyon in South Dakota. All I can say is WOW! When we stopped at Roughlock Falls we saw a young couple who were getting married there in the beauty of God's creation. We wished them the best and went on about our day of hiking and sightseeing. At dinner tonight who should come into the restaurant still dressed in their wedding finery but the same young couple. On our way out we stopped at their table, reminded them of our meeting earlier in the day and asked their first names so we could pray for them by name. Please join us in praying for Richie and Bryan. We told them we've been married for 42 years and wished them long years of a joyful marriage. It isn't easy to keep your promises in our disposable world. Do something today to build up a married couple you know: pray, send a note, drop off a treat, make a call. Part of our vocation as married couples is to build up the marriages of others. Orate pro invicem. (Let us pray for one another.)

Modest Brides! Congrats to the Arlington Catholic Herald

I've been harping for years on the immodest brides in the Arlington Catholic Herald's wedding section. Strapless dresses and lots of cleavage often graced (or should I say disgraced) their pages. So I was thrilled this week to get the Feb 10-16 issue that showed all three bridal photographs depicting lovely, modestly-dressed brides. I visited the website where there are 14 photos of recently married couples and, sad to say,  four or five need Fatima t-shirts over their dresses. But at least they didn't make the newspaper and I was delighted to see other young brides with shoulders covered looking sweet and innocent as brides should (even if they aren't).

Pray for young couples tying the knot. The world is an unkind place today and if couples aren't grounded on the rock of the Lord, the shifting sands of the world are likely to bring their families crashing down. How well they weather the storms of life depends on their foundation.

Lord Jesus, who blessed the couple of Cana by a miracle, bless all young couples entering into the marriage covenant today. Mary, our Mother, intercede for them.

Marriage Prayer
Lord, help us to remember when we first met and the strong love that grew between us.
To work that love into practical things so nothing can divide us.
We ask for words both kind and loving, and for hearts always ready to ask forgiveness as well as to forgive.
Dear Lord, we put our marriage into Your hands.
Amen.

Let's Hear it for Marriage and for a Bishop Proclaiming It!

Archbishop John Nienstedt of the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis has a great article on marriage in the Star-Tribune. Here are a few paragraphs that show this shepherd is on target about the proper nature of marriage. (You would think that was a given for a Catholic bishop, but we've seen too often that one can't take it for granted):

Throughout history, human beings in virtually every society have recognized that, to make a marriage, one needs a man and a woman. What is more, it has long been acknowledged that marriage is not just about the happiness of adults but concerns the well-being of society -- that is, the common good. Marriage exists in civil law primarily in order to provide communal support for bringing mothers and fathers together to care for their children. Same-sex unions cannot serve this public purpose....

Marriage is the way a man and woman bind their love into a lifelong commitment that is mutual, exclusive, and open to new life -- where they promise not only to love each other, but to love any children whom they create together. With that vow, the die is cast and the adventure of receiving and raising the next generation has begun.

The archbishop also takes a swipe at the disaster of no-fault divorce which has "liberated" so many single family households led by women into poverty:

Back in the early 1970s, the experts told us that no-fault divorce would liberate women from bad marriages without affecting anyone else. We now know that as many as one-third of women fall into poverty with their children as a result of divorce. Social science caught up late with the common-sense wisdom that children need a mom and a dad working together to protect them.

In other words, changing the law of marriage to enshrine no-fault divorce had unintended consequences that few predicted. Same-sex marriage represents an even greater challenge.

Congratulations to Archbishop Nienstedt for taking on this politically incorrect view of marriage. Let
 us hope the people of Minnesota are listening. And pray for the archbishop who is under attack by the gay cabal.

A Parable on Marriage: People of the Plant

An internet friend sent a great article he wrote for The American Spectator called People of the Plant. It's a parable on marriage filled with truth about what happens when the great gift of marital intimacy is abused.

The family is the building block of every society. It is dependent on a rock-solid foundation in the relationship between a husband and wife. This story illustrates that fact well. Read and ponder. If you're happily married share it with your spouse and rejoice. If you're unhappily married, share it with your spouse and resolve to work on your relationship. There is plenty of help for troubled marriages. Weathering a storm together can make your relationship stronger. Don't give up; get help.

Marriage Matters

When I was in elementary school I remember a textbook with illustrations showing the family as the "building block" of the neighborhood, the community, the state, and ultimately the nation.

A few states around the country are now experimenting with a new definition of "marriage" that is so alien to its true nature that it will destroy that building block of the family --- I'm talking, of course, about same-sex marriage. That this perverse idea is growing is frightening for the future consequences to the moral values of the United States. People have been manipulated to see this as a civil rights issue, when, in fact, it is not. Gays no more have the right to marry than a man has a "right" to be a mother. In both cases the reality conflicts with the desire. Normally, when someone creates his own reality, unrelated to the truth, (e.g., the person who insists he is Napoleon or an alien from outer space) we consider him insane. And that's exactly what this entire movement toward same-sex marriage is -- insane.

Jesus blessed marriage at Cana because the stability of the family protects the love between husband and wife and the love between parents and children who bless the union. Same-sex "marriages" or civil unions between homosexuals do not contribute to the common good; in fact they undermine it. Children need both a mother and a father. The distortion to a child's view of life and relationships is clear from those raised in same-sex households. Dawn Stefanowicz has testified powerfully to the damage of being raised by her homosexual father and his partner.

Please support those fighting for marriage. Too many Americans today think everyone should have the "freedom" to do whatever he wants, but some things aren't freedom, they're lunacy. Gays are "playing marriage" just like children "play superhero." We don't let our children jump off the house because they think they can fly; neither should we let gays hurt themselves and the culture because they think they want to be a sex that doesn't match their body parts.

Please visit Marriage Matters, a group in California dedicated to protecting traditional marriage by passing proposition 8.

Please pass this information on. We need to re-form the consciences of millions of citizens who have bought into the lie of homosexual activists.

Please pray for our poor misguided country.