Reflecting on Facebook Memes

I know a lot of people hate Facebook and social media in general; and I tend to agree. Having said that, though, I just watched with a smile the first steps of my niece's youngest child, and I delight in keeping up at least a little with far-flung relatives and friends. Facebook makes that possible and it truly is a gift of family.

Never Lose Hope: A Letter from E.B. White

One of the reasons I remain on Facebook despite its censorship and bias is reflected in the beautiful article below that my sister posted on her wall today. In fact, I liked it so much I looked for the source and found the book it came from on Amazon, Letters of Note, compiled by Shaun Usher. Guess what? I ordered the book.

I've always loved Charlotte's Web and The Trumpet of the Swan. Both those children's classics are filled with hope. Charlotte gives Wilbur hope and saves his life. Louis the Swan, born without a voice, finds a way to woo and win Serena as his mate.

In the story of Pandora's Box, when all the evils are released into the world, one little thing remains -- hope. Let's never forget it!

In 1973, E.B. White wrote the following reply to a Mr. Nadeau, "who sought White's opinion on what he saw as a bleak future for the human race."

"Dear Mr. Nadeau:

Bad News for Two Oligarchs: $51 BILLION COMBINED LOSSES...

Twitter, Facebook: $51 Billion Combined Market Value Erased Since Trump Ban

And it couldn't happen to two more deserving tyrants. Some good news among the ruins! These guys love money and power and what they don't realize is that all power resides in Christ, not in the world. "What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?" You can't buy your way into heaven.

Project Veritas: How the New York Times is Manipulating Social Media with the Help of Facebook and You Tube

Are we surprised?

So...what are you doing for Advent?

I've decided to deactivate my Facebook account until after Christmas. I find it disheartening. So often it causes squabbles and misunderstandings. There's enough of that in life from face-to-face encounters. Who needs social media that acts like fertilizer for dissension.

At any rate, I want to focus on the star and its hope. So talk to me here. You won't see me on Facebook for awhile. I'm calling it Facebook abstinence.

Who's Looking at all that Information on Facebook?

I received the e-mail below and share some of the same concerns as the writer. I get nervous when someone wants to know who and how I'm related to people. Why do they want that information? Why do they want to know every little nitty gritty detail of my life? And why would I want to tell them? We live in a culture where privacy is considered a weird concept. Why wouldn't you want everybody to know everything about you -- and then the zinger -- UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE.

Frankly, I have lots to hide. I don't want people to know all my personal sins. Some things are between me and God. I don't want people to know every one of my physical, mental, and emotional flaws. Some things are between me and my husband and he doesn't know all of them. I don't want people to know every injury I've inflicted on others or the injuries they've inflicted on me. Some things are between me and my family and my real friends, the people I have REAL relationships with instead of the superficial "friendships" of Facebook.

Currently, I'm off Facebook although I haven't deleted my account permanently -- yet. But the more I think about it, the more prudent it seems. There are a lot of things that are nobody's business -- much less the business of millions of people I don't even know including the administrators of Facebook.

Besides, I have this little nagging knowledge from history. One of the reasons it was so easy for the Nazis to round up the Dutch Jews, was the extensive records Holland had started keeping on all their citizens. If that makes me sound like a conspiracy nut, so be it. History has some warnings to teach us and volunteering too much information about ourselves is one of them.

Subject: I have written this to protect the people I care about. Please read, and share.
Dear Friend,

I AM LEAVING FACEBOOK. YOU SHOULD CONSIDER DOING THE SAME: READ ON.

Fasting From Facebook

I feel liberated today. I deactivated my Facebook account -- perhaps only temporarily; time will tell. With Christmas only a week away, however, I decided to focus my mind on the real world instead of the social networking virtual world where everybody and his brother is your "friend" and people often forget the rules of civility and common courtesy. I plan to stay off Facebook at least through the Christmas season to celebrate the birth of Jesus and enjoy real and deep face-to-face friendships instead of the faux, flip "friendships" of Facebook.

Once before I dumped my account when I got sick of the drama and narcissism and only went back after I decided to create a Les Femmes page. Since the Facebook world is so large, it's a good place to disseminate news and to offer counter cultural ideas and comments. But it's also an easy environment for gossips and snipers. I've seen too many relationships damaged through Facebook to be easy with it. My oldest child calls Facebook a tool of the devil, a tongue-in-cheek comment since she is a user, but I know what she means. People seem to lose their inhibitions and will publicly post nasty things they would be unlikely to say to someone "face to face." Perhaps that is inevitable in a world where people spill their guts everywhere with no apparent guard over their thoughts or tongues.

Personally, I see Facebook as a tool which can be used (like a hammer) for a legitimate purpose (like building a house) or for a wrong purpose (like clobbering someone). As a mom and gramma, I love keeping up with the day-to-day events of my children who live far away and with extended family we seldom see. Facebook can be valuable and legitmate tool in that respect. But I've also seen Facebook used as a weapon to pound someone into the dirt and humiliate them by doing it in front of the Facebook world. 

I know someone reading this will say, "Physician, heal thyself." I'm often accused of being mean and evil for speaking the truth about issues like homosexuality and abortion. But there's a big difference between discussing issues -- either privately or publicly -- and taking someone to task publicly over something that is a prudential matter. The only time I publicly criticize someone is when he or she commits a public scandal. A Catholic pro-abortion politician, like Nancy Pelosi, must be confronted in public to minimize the likelihood that her public actions will lead others into sin. If, on the other hand, I don't like someone's tone, or think they are sharing more than is prudent, or I don't like a personality defect they exhibit, that's a matter for private discussion. And I might add, that private discussion is useless unless the person being corrected knows they are truly loved by the person making the correction. The older I get, the more I realize that the only people I can impact in that way are the ones closest to my heart. And, let's face it, how many of those people exist in anyone's life?

St. Francis de Sales is the patron of authors, journalists, and writers. Everyone on Facebook fits into the "writer" category so it would behoove us all to consider St. Francis' philosophy. He said we should always be most critical of our own actions and most charitable about the actions of others. Imagine how different Facebook would be if people took that admonition to heart.

Facebook and the Mommy Wars

The Mommy Wars are raging on Facebook between nursing mothers who want to let it all hang out and the Facebook admin team who are committed to keeping the site family friendly for all, including children. The war began with moms posting bare-breasted photos, nipples and all including one shot in the bathtub with the baby nursing on the far side in the background and a large bare breast in the foreground. Facebook removed it and other nursing photos for violating their terms of use explaining that, "Photos containing a fully exposed breast - as defined by showing the nipple of areola - do violate those terms on obscene, pornographic or sexually explicit material." The moms responded with a petition drive and a "nurse-in protest" which involved posting more bare-breasted pictures on Facebook. Before dismissing this as the corollary to the Lilliputian War over which end to crack a soft-boiled egg, I think there are some serious issues that bear discussion.

As a former nursing mother who often breast fed in public, I think the moms are absolutely correct that there is nothing obscene or indecent about nursing in public with the proviso that mothers are discreet, modest, and respectful of others. And there's the rub. Many of the photos are neither discreet nor modest. Is it possible to nurse modestly without baring oneself to the world? Of course, I used to wear loose knit tops that fell over the baby's face as he/she nursed and fed my little ones in movie theatres, on mall benches, in church, and wherever else the baby was hungry or needed to be quiet. Once at a meeting a male friend came over to admire my newborn and only when he got close did he realize I was nursing. He couldn't see anything, but got flustered. I just smiled and showed him the baby when I was finished and put back together. A nursing acquaintance of mine took her new, long-awaited baby on a pilgrimage of thanksgiving to Lourdes. She bought a large brimmed bonnet for her little girl and nursed across Europe totally covered by the baby's hat.

But discreet nursing isn't what these moms are talking about. They want to proclaim their right to pop out their breasts in public for all to see. I have known nursing mothers like that. It's as if feeding their babies is not so much about nourishment and nurturing, but a political statement. If you don't like it, don't look, they say. Easier said than done especially if little boys or teenagers on the cusp of manhood are nearby.

So I stand with Facebook on this one; they are upholding common sense. The mothers, on the other hand, are illustrating a grave problem in our culture -- the lost virtues of modesty and prudence. Yes, breastfeeding is natural and good, but it also deserves to be treated with dignity and mystery. Something mystical happens between the little one at the breast who looks into Mommy's eyes and sees her as the first image of God. When Mom shoves her bare breast in the public's face what does she think people see? Certainly not the baby focusing on Mommy's face. No, the breast takes center stage - in a way not too unlike the exploitation of women's bodies in other settings.

Let the breastfeeding moms of the world unite, not in a war over their right to let it all hang out in public, but in a contest on creative ways to breastfeed modestly in public. If these moms think about it perhaps they will have the same concern for young men tempted by nudity, whatever the setting, as they have for the little newborn suckling at the breast.