"He wants a pleasure for which a woman happens to be the necessary piece of apparatus. How much he cares about the woman as such may be gauged by his attitude to her five minutes after fruition (one does not keep the carton after one has smoked the cigarettes).
"Now Eros makes a man really want, not a woman, but one particular woman. In some mysterious but quite indisputable fashion the lover desires the Beloved herself, not the pleasure she can give."
C.S. Lewis - The Four Loves
And this is exactly why we talk about "sex objects." A man filled with lust treats many things as equal, i.e., anything that can be used to bring it on. I won't get graphically specific.
The man who loves, on the other hand, treats the woman he loves with great respect. He is moderate in his love-making. In other words, if she is sick or exhausted from caring for a young baby, etc. he places his own desire for sexual gratification after what is good for his wife and family. He is a man of self control rather than selfish, uncontrollable little boy.
Thank God for manly men who imitate Jesus Christ rather than Adam. We certainly need more of them.
