Those manning the barricades describe themselves as "defending marriage." That is a deep inaccuracy: marriage, as an institution, was surrendered quite some time ago. Today's battles are not about marriage but simply about dividing the spoils of its destruction. It is too late to defend marriage. Rather than being defended, marriage needs to be taught and lived. The Church needs to be willing to become the place where that teaching occurs as well as the place that can sustain couples in the struggle required to live it. Fortunately, the spiritual inheritance of the Church has gifted it with all of the tools necessary for that task. It lacks only people who are willing to take up the struggle.Are you willing to suffer for your marriage? Did you mean it when you promised to stick it out "for better or worse?" Here's another paragraph to contemplate:
The classical Christian marriage belongs to the genre of martyrdom. It is a commitment to death. As Hauerwas notes: faithfulness over the course of a life-time defines what it means to “love” someone. At the end of a faithful life, we may say of someone, “He loved his wife.”Do you truly love? Or did you make a mental reservation on your wedding day to stick with it as long as things weren't too difficult?
The best thing you can do for marriage today is be a witness to its permanence. Love is a decision not a feeling.
