How to Converse With Your Local Grocery Store Cashier While Checking Out

Imam from Memphis, Tennessee,
home of Elvis Presley
"Property" means wives and children

Is it because trouble follows me everywhere or because I make trouble wherever I go? Is it because people are liberal and I am not, therefore when I speak they’re automatically offended? Maybe it’s because grocery store managers tell checkout cashiers to make friendly conversation with customers about the food they’re buying. I don’t know, but it all went terribly wrong tonight, not so much for me – I rather enjoyed the “conversation” – but for the cashier, whom I suppose was just trying to be friendly while making comments about my food.

Now I feel badly! Maybe he wasn’t bragging after all! Maybe he was just following orders: “Be friendly. Talk about the food customers are purchasing. If you like something they’re buying, tell them so. Tell them about your life and places you’ve been where you tasted food like the food they’re buying. Make their shopping experience here at our store memorable.”