Need a friend for the year? There's a whole heaven full from which to choose!

I recently read that a Catholic tradition for Valentine's Day is to choose a saint for the year to be your special friend. What a great idea! I've been pondering the question. So many saints deserve a better acquaintance. Who would bring me to a closer walk with Jesus this year if I beg their intercession every day? Padre Pio? St. Gemma? St. Alphonsus Liguori? St. Philomena? St. Joseph? St. Francis de Sales? St. Jacinta? What a wealth of friendship there is in the Communion of Saints.

Have You Been Erased? Do You Erase Others?

I came across an article on substack by a divorced dad who described himself as "being erased" by his spouse. Actually, several divorced men I know have experienced that situation with their children turned against them by their bitter ex wives. Of course, I'm getting a one-sided picture of the situation, but, knowing these men, it's hard to believe they deserved the total annihilation of their role as dads. 

Boycott the CCHD Collection along with Other Thoughts for Thursday

• The CCHD (Catholic Campaign for Human Development) collection is coming up. This is the fraudulent pocket picking of pew sitters to divert Catholic contributions to groups that lobby for liberal Democrats and support abortion, contraception, and sodomy. Check out the Lepanto Institute report and see how the collection funds intrinsic evils. Don't give a plug nickle; do put in a note that you will not be supporting the parish until they issue an apology for passing the basket to enable evil. I made the video above 16 years ago. Nothing much has changed at the CCHD except it's worse than ever. It's way past time to eliminate that group for good. Add prayers and penance to your boycott. 

The Israel Wars: Of Cancelling, Banning, and Ending Friendships

NEWS ALERT: A few minutes after writing this column, I learned that John Henry Weston, co-founder of  LifeSite News and a courageous voice for truth, has been fired by the board in a narrow 5-4 vote. Why? Not for scandals, doctrinal error, or mismanagement, but because he criticized some of the actions of Pope Leo XIV, actions which are indeed problematic. One of LifeSite's reporters was also fired for the same reason. Read The Purge at LifeSite News. This is one more example of what Paul Gottfried describes in his article on Israel and it has broad implications for the future of those who defend orthodoxy even against high ecclesial authority. This is a developing story and I'll be writing further about it in the days ahead.

The Israel Wars

As I've said often in the past, I'm a big fan of Chronicles Magazine. Sometimes an article is spot on! Paul Gottfried pegged it in more ways than one in the article linked below. I agree with him 100%! But even if I didn't, I'd be happy to be friends and engage in spirited Socratic argument -- and do it with a smile.

Zionism Should Not Be a Conservative Sine Qua Non

Come for Lunch and Pray the Rosary Together!

During the COVID lockdowns I began hosting bi-monthly rosary lunches with a group of Catholic women to get us all out of isolation -- laughing, chatting, and praying together. I still do them occasionally but not as frequently. They are always a blessing to me personally and fulfill a desire God has given me to practice hospitality.

This morning, reading The Imitation of Christ, I meditated on this passage:

Monday Morning Musings.

Beach buddy!

It's been a busy few weeks. I spent five days in April with my blogging partner, Susan, who lives in Florida. We met in North Carolina at her daughter's cabin in the woods, a great spot to appreciate the glory of God in His creation and revel in our friendship. We always laugh a lot when we're together. How can one not laugh at the insanity of the world?As one Catholic blogger says, "We laugh because we believe."  The long drive back to northern Virginia was grueling for this old lady, but the weather was beautiful, the woods and fields fresh and green. While the redbud and daffodils were finished, the dogwood put on a full bloom show all the way home. 

A Mysterious Friendship: Antonin Scalia and Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Scalia’s friendship with pro-abortion Ginsburg is as curious as G.K. Chesterton’s friendship with atheist Shaw

What Scalia and G.K Chesterton had in common is that both were faithful Catholics who took seriously the Lord’s command to love.

Tue Oct 20, 2020 - 2:51 pm EST

 

Reflecting on Lost Friends and Difficult Relationships

Grief has a way of taking over your life: impacting your thoughts, your decisions, the way you feel when you get up in the morning, the way you organize your day. Sometimes I can't think. And so I do some mindless task: dusting, cleaning the bathroom, sweeping the front porch. But I can't help, in the midst of these mindless chores, thinking about and remembering past losses and griefs.

Reflecting on a Plan of Life for 2017

Fr. Robert Hugh Benson

I'm reflecting on my spiritual goals for 2017. After reading a little pamphlet by the famous priest-convert Robert Hugh Benson on The Friendship of Christ, I've decided to focus on the saints and choose a different saint or group of saints to study each month. After all, they are the ones who excelled in the school of friendship with Christ so what better teachers can one have except Christ Himself? And since Christ is the friend who never fails I think I'll also do a daily reading from the Imitation of Christ. I've always loved that little book and actually memorized a bit that I pray after Communion.

But I also want to know Christ's close friends better, more than as the go-to helpers to find lost objects (St. Anthony) or pray for friends with special needs (e.g., St. Gerard Majella for women in childbirth) or for the survival of our bee colonies (St. Ambrose and St. Valentine). I want to get to know at least a few of the saints more intimately especially Mary.

An Exciting Addition to the Blog: Welcome My Friend Susan Matthiesen

I'm really happy to announce that my friend, Susan Matthiesen, has joined the Les Femmes blog as a co-administrator and author. I met Susan years ago because of our shared love for the faith and concern over the direction our "shepherds" were taking the Church in the United States. She was one of the initial founders, with myself and others, of the Catholic Media Coaltion. All of us were putting out newsletters or doing other works in our own dioceses to defend the authentic Catholic faith.

Susan and I have been friends of the heart for many years now and I rejoice to have her working side-by-side with me on the blog. I hope you will encourage her in the comments section when she posts her first article. Welcome, Susan!

Our Fresh Air Girls Come Today

Ever hear of the Fresh Air Fund? It's a group that's operated for over 100 years sending children from New York City out into the country for a week or ten days to enjoy a totally different experience. We participated for the first time last year hosting two young girls who are returning today for another little vacation in the country. We pick them up this afternoon and look forward to the reunion and a week of fun activities. We're going to visit the farm where our milk comes from so the girls will have an opportunity to milk a cow, feed the chickens, and maybe help with the haying. We'll take them to our granddaughters' horseback riding lesson and hopefully they'll get a chance to groom a horse. Then we have an assortment of wonderful things to choose from: peach and berry picking, visiting the caverns, taking a hike in the George Washington National Forest, and, of course, letting them drive the tractor again. Should be a fun time. I hope you'll take a look at Fresh Air Fund and consider becoming a supporter. They're a group that deserves to continue for another 100 years!

Thought for the Day from St. Therese of Lisieux

"Not a single soul falls into Hell that has not torn itself out of my arms."

Wow! Think of that. God is holding on to you like superglue. Only you can make the decision to tear yourself away from him. But like paper attached to a rock with superglue, it's the paper that will suffer in the tearing away. 

Just think of what life would be like if we would just rest in God's arms, look up into the eyes of the Holy Face of Jesus, and listened to His voice. His love is beyond our imagination. Imagine the moment in your life when you have felt most loved and it will be like comparing a tiny drop of water to the vastness of the ocean.

I'm praying today for those who feel abandoned and unloved that Jesus will reveal Himself to them in a special way -- through the kindness of a stranger, the companionship of a friend, the embrace of a family member, or a very obvious blessing. "Come, Lord Jesus."

Take a Hike! Or a Bike Ride...

That expression, "Take a hike." has a pejorative meaning to it. But I think if someone said that me, I'd smile and say, "Don't mind if I do; want to come?" How many people in our lives find us annoying and presume that our thoughts toward them are negative or judgmental, when actually, we simply disagree. It is, in fact, possible to disagree without being disagreeable. I think of G.K. Chesterton who had so many friends, like George Bernard Shaw, whose worldview was diametrically opposed to his. And yet they were good friends. I think it was H.G. Wells who said if he made it into heaven it would be because of the prayers of his friend Chesterton.

I think taking a hike or a bike ride with a difficult family member can be a real experience of communion.

Time Out for Refreshing the Soul

I didn't use the computer much today. Instead I met with a group of women friends for lunch. We are all serious orthodox Catholics engaged in a wide range of apostolates: Catholic education, pro-life, working to get moral politicians elected, etc. Between lunch and desert we stopped to pray the rosary for our country, the election of our Virginia ticket next November, and for our individual prayer needs.

Listening to the lovely voices of these women praying together filled my heart with joy. During our visit, we shared information about each others families, talked about politics, religion, and books, and, not surprisingly, my own latest project: bee-keeping. We laughed a lot. One of my friends commented that we should only agree to discuss gay marriage at the insane asylum because that's where the discussion belongs. Amen!

We decided at the end of our afternoon, as we were all hugging and saying good-bye, that we need to do this on a regular basis, maybe once every few months. In a world hell-bent on suicide, where sanity seems to have fled the scene, those who love God need to meet and rejoice in our common embrace of Christ and His Church. What a refreshing and delightful respite this was, dare I say, a little preview of the joy of heaven?

Yes, we will meet again for fellowship and prayer and bring others into our blessed circle. True joy dispels the darkness. Evil hates it and flees from it. If you are feeling surrounded by evil, smile and repeat the name of Jesus. If you don't know Him, if you don't believe God even exists, ask Him to show you. God never leaves us alone in the dark and He reads our hearts. If we are sincerely seeking Him, we will find Him. And how can anyone, on finding Him not react the way the woman who swept her house looking for her lost coin reacted - with celebration. As Scripture says, "Rejoice in the Lord always."

That's what we did this afternoon and it was a joy to behold. Praise God for good friends!

And to top the day off, on the way home, as if to confirm the joy of the day and His promise to be always with us, we saw a brilliant rainbow arcing across the entire sky. We didn't need the pot of gold at its end to feel rich!

I'd Like to Be a Better Friend -- Like Chesterton

One of the things I admire most about G.K. Chesterton is his incredible gift for friendship. It's a testimony to his love for his fellow man that he could be friends with people with whom he disagreed 180 degrees even on moral values. I don't have that gift and can't even imagine doing it!

I remember as a young mom with a toddler and a new baby playing bridge with casual friends. I met the wife at a government training course we both attended. We had gotten together at each others' homes several times for dinner and bridge, but never talked about anything serious, just chitchat. We happened to go out together the week of Roe v. Wade. What a week! I was devastated by the decision! I remember crying over the fact that I lived in a country where it was legal to kill babies. Our little daughter was two and a half and our new little son was six months old. The babies being murdered were no different than my own little ones. How could anyone kill them? Well, in the course of the evening with our friends, Roe v. Wade came up and this couple extolled the brilliance of the decision. I felt physically nauseated by the conversation and went home saying to Larry, "I never want to see them again." Perhaps they felt the same way. They never called us and we never called them.

I should have been prepared for their attitude. They had told us one evening they didn't want any children. She had her career to think of and they liked to do things like ski. I've never seen anyone ski with a baby on board. But I was still in shock by their attitude. At 25 I couldn't imagine anyone believing killing babies was a "solution" to a problem.

Perhaps it's not surprising that a young mom nursing an infant would find it difficult to hobknob with people who believe it's okay to kill babies. But I wonder sometimes whether Larry and I could have had an influence on that couple. How many similar opportunities have I missed? If I were a better Christian and friend, one who truly loved others and tried to see them as God does, perhaps things would have been different. Would there have been opportunities to "debate" in the classical sense, to raise Socratic questions about the nature of life? I'm not sure I could have done it then. (I'm not sure I could do it now for that matter.) I was in too much pain over child-killing and I saw them as part of the pro-death culture. Beliefs have consequences after all. But would things have been different if I loved them enough to be a faithful friend?

In the end, love is action and the most loving thing we can do for others is to pray for them and witness as we can. So even now, 40 years after that friendship ended, I can still pray for that couple and hope they came or will come to see the wonder of creation especially babies waiting to be born, the visible reminder of the Lord's Incarnation.

I think I'll pray to Chesterton for his intercession that I might be, like him, an apostle of common sense and also a true friend to everyone I meet, especially those committed to evil. After all, they need true friends the most and many of them are blind, not malicious. As Chesterton said of Shaw, "The truth is, of course, that Mr. Shaw is cruelly hampered by the fact that he cannot tell any lie unless he thinks it is the truth." One could certainly say that about many people in today's crazy world!

Thinking about friends and history...

What a joy it is to have a friend of the heart. One of mine, Joe Wall, a dear fellow rescuer, lives in a suburb of Philadelphia. Every now and then I go to my mailbox and find a letter or package from him that is always filled with something unexpected and special. Today it was a book, a work of historical fiction on St. Thomas More. It's an old and obviously well-loved paperback from Image Press. In the back is Joe's name and the date, January 1963, when he first read it. In his accompanying letter, Joe writes:

Not long ago I came across the enclosed book, Stage of Fools, in the course of sorting through my innumerable piles of books. As you can see, I had read it over forty-seven years ago. Naturally, I sat down and reread it! Read more here...

Bible Quiz on Friendship

The Book of Sirach (Ecclesiasticus) is one of my favorite pieces of wisdom literature. I especially love it's description of friendship:

A faithful friend is a strudy shelter;
              he who finds one finds a treasure.

A faithful friend is beyond price,

              no sum can balance his worth.

A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy
              such as he who fears God finds;
For he who fears God behaves accordingly,
              and his friend will be like himself.

The Bible is filled with stories of faithful friends and some who were not such faithful friends. So here's a Lenten challenge. St. Jerome said "Ignorance of scripture means ignorance of Christ." Make the Bible your friend this Lent. You can start by answering these questions and looking up the Bible references. Answers at the end after the break.

1) At his lowest moment, while he sat in jail falsely accused of attacking his master's wife, Jacob's son Joseph, was released because this fair weather friend he met in jail finally (after two years) told Pharoah about Joseph's gift for interpreting dreams. (Genesis Chapter 40)

2) This faithful follower of Moses received from him the responsibility of leading the people into the promised land with the secure knowledge that the Lord would never forsake him. (Deuteronomy 31)

3) Ruth was such a faithful friend to her mother-in-law Naomi that, when her husband died, she left her own country to follow Naomi back to Judah and support her by gleaning in the fields. Because of her faithfulness, Ruth found a second husband and friend and became one of only a few women (besides Mary) mentioned in Matthew's geneology of Jesus. Who was her second husband? (Ruth 2 and 3)

4) This prophet was not afraid to speak truth to power. When King David sinned by committing adultery with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah, and having him killed, he went to David with a story about a rich man with great flocks who stole the one sheep of his neighbor. He so touched the heart of David that when he revealed it was a parable about David's own actions, the king immediately repented. Who was this courageous prophet and true friend of the king? (2 Samuel 12)

5) This poor man had so many troubles he is still referred to today when people are experiencing pain, suffering, and trials. A bunch of fair weather friends assailed him in his suffering insisting he must have done something bad to deserve what he got. In the end, his faithfulness was vindicated, but he got a good scolding from God for his questioning. The book that tells his story is named after him.

6) Elijah the prophet threw his cloak over this friend passing the mantle of his prophetic ministry on to the younger man. (2 Kings 2)

7) These three apostles were special friends of Jesus. They were with him at the Transfiguration. In the garden, they failed to keep watch with Jesus, falling asleep instead. (Matthew 17 and 26)

8) St. Paul went on his first missionary journey with this friend, but later they had a falling out and went their separate ways. (Acts 13)

9) Pontius Pilate tried to save Jesus but lost his nerve and sent him to the cross knowing He was innocent. This treachery resulted in his embracing friendship with the man Jesus called "that fox." (Luke 23:12)

10) This heavenly friend accompanied Tobiah on his journey to seek a wife and cured his father Tobit of blindness. (Book of Tobit)

11) And here's a bonus question. It's hard and if you get it without looking it up give yourself a big pat on the back. These two kings showed themselves to be special friends of the Israelites! After the Babylonian exile, two pagan kings (who ruled over 100 years apart) helped the Israelites rebuild the temple of Jerusalem and the city walls. One returned all the utensils from the house of the Lord that King Nebuchadnezzar stole.  The other allowed Nehemiah to go up to Jerusalem to rebuild the wall around the city because it was undefended. Who were these two pagan kings of Persia? (Books of Ezra and Nehemiah)