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Monday, January 3, 2022

Everybody's making their 2022 Predictions; My Favorites are from the Babylon Bee!

Here's a post that's just for fun. In a society so filled with bad news we can all use a laugh or two. Amazingly, at a time when real news looks like satire, the Babylon Bee still does satire so well and makes us laugh at the insanity! God bless their writers!

The Babylon Bee's Top Predictions For 2022

It's that time of year again—when the infallible prophets at The Babylon Bee tell you what will happen in the next year with 100% accuracy! Will 2022 be better than this year? You decide! 

Here is a definitive list of things that will happen in 2022:

January 1 - USPS will deliver your Christmas package [I'm still waiting for an order from CVS that I put in on December 2nd!]

January 6 - Second insurrection attempt canceled 

January 20 - Pfizer unveils booster shots 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 [Too likely to be funny

January 21 - Men break every record ever held by women

January 22 - Harvard gender studies professor discovers five new pronouns [to add to the 250 already on the books]

January 23 - The Babylon Bee discovers a 3rd conservative joke [not made by Mitch McConnell who has no sense of humor like his Democrat comrades]

January 25 - Obama releases another memoir [once again written by Commie Bill Ayers]

January 27 - Mark Zuckerberg finally learns how to smile with his eyes [This prediction is likely doomed to failure.]

February 1 - WHO runs out of Greek letters for variants and starts naming them after the Muppets [which causes a protest by Oscar the Grouch, Grover, Ernie, Bert, Snuffleupagus, and Big Bird who say they have a right not to be considered a disease]

February 2 - Jan 6th committee finally catches your Grandma [who turns in her rolling pin as a weapon of mass destruction]

February 26 - China officially annexes United States [This is too likely to be funny.]

March 1 - Bill Clinton plants the flag on brand new Epstein Island

March 3 - Space Force training exercise accidentally blows up Mars

March 10 - Obama releases yet another new memoir [once again written by Bill Ayers with an intro written by Bill Ayers]

March 25 - Meat is outlawed, replaced with delicious bugs instead [In an attempt to prove they are true believers, liberals will craft the bug menu around locusts and wild honey]

April 1 - AOC red-pilled after reading an economics book [Not likely! It's questionable whether she can read.]

April 19 - Man dressed as woman hailed as first woman to not complain about being cold

May 5 - Hollywood studio announces all-female reboot of Ghostbusters: Afterlife 

May 10 - Firefly renewed for 12 new seasons. Unfortunately, it's written by the writers of the 2nd season of Ted Lasso 

June 6 - AOC tweets something dumb [That's not a prediction; it's a gimme!]

August 15 - The only child to be named "Brandon" for the entire year is born [and receives sympathy cards from millions]

September 5 - Jen Psaki becomes Ben Psaki [and joins the Mr Universe contest]

October 8 - Obama releases new memoir [written by Bill Ayers with an intro and epilogue written by Bill Ayers]

October 11 - Ted Cruz finally gets to spend a week in Cancun

November 17 - Republicans bravely squander control of Congress [Another gimme! Republican stupidity is a sure thing.]

December 10th - You still can't get your hands on a PS5

December 25 - Christmas will occur on this day [But it will be renamed Kwanza-mas]

December 27 - Obama releases new memoir [written by Bill Ayers with intro, prologue, epilogue, and ten appendices written by Bill Ayers]

December 30 - Ghislaine Maxwell's black book leaked, will be released in January

December 31 - Jesus returns [Despite all attempts by the left to stop Him!]

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