Some people major in the minors over modesty!

I'm a big fan of Dymphna's blog, especially her random thoughts posts. This item caught my eye recently:

A priest posted a photo of his 90 year old mother and asked for prayers because she passed away. One person complained that the mother was wearing pants and chastised the loving son for showing an immodest photo. My brothers, if you experience temptation looking at a 90 year old woman I suggest that you step away from the Internet, possibly forever for any reason other than work, and get yourself to the nearest priest for spiritual guidance because ....something aint right.

I didn't see the picture, but I doubt a 90 year old woman was wearing skin tight pants with a plunging neckline top. 

Monday Morning Musings on Modesty

Is Dad guarding your family?

I was just reading a great post on Dymphna's blog about modesty.

So many parents these days seem to consider Mass as no different from a day at the beach! Hey, you want to wear short shorts and a tank top to meet the Lor of the Universe?, No problem. But really, parents, modesty is the guardian of chastity. Do you care about your kids' souls?

Dymphna mentioned the responsibility of the mother and so did someone commenting on the post, and clearly, moms are the ones who generally go shopping with their kids, so the purchase of modest clothing falls squarely on Mom. She plays a major role in fostering the virtue of modesty.

But Mom is not, ultimately, the one who has the greatest responsibility to protect her children. DAD DOES! He is the guardian of the family!

DAD IS THE SPIRITUAL HEAD OF THE FAMILY AND THE GUARDIAN AT THE GATE! IF HE ABANDONS HIS POST, HE WILL ANSWER FOR IT!

When you feel discouraged, read the saints!

I'm reading the Autobiography of  St. Anthony Mary Claret. What an incredible priest!

Who needs the "new evangelization" when we had great saints like this giving us a sound prescription for an effective evangelization based on tried and true methods!

We need to get back to the "old" evangelization!

St. Anthony was born about two hundred years ago. Nabi's posts make me think of him because of his call for virtue in the clergy! That, without doubt,  is the beginning of an effective evangelization.

Here's what St. Anthony said about the sinful culture of his own day:

The sole reason why society is perishing is because it has refused to hear the word of the Church, which is the word of life, the word of God. All plans for salvation will be sterile if the great word of the Catholic Church is not restored in all its fullness.

Guest Post: Thoughts on Respect or Whatever Happened to Personal Responsibility?

By Joan Hartzell

It’s difficult to understand the angry, threatening demands of women who think that automatic “respect” status is theirs, even when they show obvious signs of disrespecting themselves, an indication of their own confusion. Respect comes from within.  We were all created to be respected, most particularly by ourselves.  Just as we are called to respect our own bodies, we are called to pay respect to others, not the least of whom are our own children in the womb.  

Chastity: It's Everyone's Vocation!

Did you know that chastity is your vocation? It's everyone's vocation! God calls every single person on the face of the earth to chastity. Yes, married people too. 

Do you know what chastity is? Simple -- the proper use of God's gift of sexuality according to your state in life. So what does that mean? Here's the rundown:

1)  For single men: treat yourself and others with dignity and respect.

Cover up Those WYD Girls with Fatima T-Shirts!

The downside to World Youth Day is the fulfillment of Mary's prophecy at Fatima: 

“Certain fashions will be introduced that will offend Our Lord very much.” 

Make reparation for the sins of WYD. (And these were mild compared to the string bikinis.) Do you know the history of the bikini? When it was introduced in 1946, the designer couldn't get a model to wear it. He had to hire strippers. Now girls strip for free.

The Bikini Debate: Look at its History!

Hmmm....Tell me again  why bikinis are no problem.

Rebel Against the Culture: Value Virginity

We've reached a point in moral degradation where the only counter-cultural rebellion is to practice moral virtue. Nowhere is this more true than in sexual relationships. Women these days are, to many men (little boys really), nothing more than a board with a hole in it....or is that "broad." The term "hook-up" says it all where, on the morning after, one may not even remember the name or sex (in modern parlance "gender") or number of last night's "partners." Sadly, virginity has become a virtue of ridicule.

Yes, in the brave new world of sexual orgy, there's only way to rebel. Stay a virgin until marriage. Respect all the people you meet enough to focus on getting to know them intimately without touching. The "meeting of minds" is the beginning of true love, whether it's eros (sexual love) or filial (friendship) or the highest love, agape (love between God and man). We can only truly love the other who is known intimately. The lover who is not first a friend of the mind and heart is unlikely to be the true love.

The only way that true intimacy comes about is for minds and spirits, not bodies, to communicate intimately. Deep friendships are possible without sex and, in fact, sex can get in the way of developing deep friendships. When that happens sex becomes a danger because it can fool a person into establishing a permanent relationship, i.e., marriage (well, it used to be permanent) to the wrong person. The false intimacy of sex without true love goes a long way toward explaining the reluctance of young couples to marry and the breakdown of so many marriages after a short time. I know of too many marriages that don't last as long as the wedding planning. What does that say about the quality of those relationships?

Virginity protected by modesty is the greatest insurance against marital unhappiness. The idea that one can try marriage out by shacking up is an illusion borne out by the higher divorce rate among those who cohabit. So all you teenage rebels out there, fight against the prevailing culture by embracing virginity. It not only offers the best promise of marital happiness later, but it preserves you from sexually transmitted diseases and premarital pregnancy with its consequent temptation to abortion. Nothing illustrates the false love of fornication and adultery more than the eagerness to murder the "love" child conceived as a result of it.

More on Modesty: How Male Brains React to Bikinis

Men are wired differently than women. That's just a fact. This comes out of a Princeton study, not a religious group. Let's treat each other with charity. Guys, treat even immodestly dressed women with respect. Gals, invite men to see beyond the superficial. And let's all treat each other with the charity we deserve as creatures made in the image and likeness of God.

One Reason I Love Winter: Modesty

The older I get the colder I get when north winds start to blow in the frigid days of winter. Despite the cold, however, there's one reason I absolutely rejoice when the temperature drops -- modesty. All summer I cringe at Sunday Mass when girls sashay up to Communion in dresses that barely cover their bums or short shorts...and the ubiquitous tank tops and spaghetti straps with plunging necklines. I'm not too fond of the guys' shorts, bare legs, and dirty sneakers either, but that's more about respect and the topic of another post.

Winter has a way of increasing modesty. Yes, the tight pants that draw men's eyes to a girl's crotch are still a problem, but winter brings in the long shirts and sweaters, the leggings and boots. The mini skirts (never a flattering style) pretty much disappear in favor of slacks, longer skirts, and boots.

So bring on the cold and breathe a prayer of gratitude for a few months of modesty at Mass. It's one less distraction from what's happening on the altar. And remember, girls, you are more than your body. When you dress with modesty you draw a young man's attention to your face and your eyes, the windows of the soul. Wouldn't you rather a young man learn who you are than invite him, by immodest clothing to lust for your body?

One of the Advantages of an Aging Population

The demographic winter which is the inevitable result of an aging population with two few young people is a major problem, but it does offer one distinct advantage -- the ability to find modest bathing suits. You don't see many flabby grandmas in bikinis at the beach. Oh, there are a few loony ladies who let all their bulges hang out, but most have enough sense to know they look foolish stuffing an elephant body into a canary suit.

Twenty-five years ago I would go to the beach and lament the fact that there wasn't a modest suit on the racks at the suit shops - nothing but the teeny weenie bikini. Now, I'm complimenting young moms at the beach wearing two piece suits with little shorts and long tops or swimdresses. There is still plenty of skin, but not nearly as much as there used to be.

Now if we could just get those moms and grandmas (Even better dads who should be protecting their daughters!) to lay down the law with their nearly nude teenage daughters we could really celebrate! 

L.L. Bean and Lands End are two places to shop for sensible, modest suits. I recommend buying at the end of the season for the next summer for great prices if you don't mind not having full selection.

Modest Brides! Congrats to the Arlington Catholic Herald

I've been harping for years on the immodest brides in the Arlington Catholic Herald's wedding section. Strapless dresses and lots of cleavage often graced (or should I say disgraced) their pages. So I was thrilled this week to get the Feb 10-16 issue that showed all three bridal photographs depicting lovely, modestly-dressed brides. I visited the website where there are 14 photos of recently married couples and, sad to say,  four or five need Fatima t-shirts over their dresses. But at least they didn't make the newspaper and I was delighted to see other young brides with shoulders covered looking sweet and innocent as brides should (even if they aren't).

Pray for young couples tying the knot. The world is an unkind place today and if couples aren't grounded on the rock of the Lord, the shifting sands of the world are likely to bring their families crashing down. How well they weather the storms of life depends on their foundation.

Lord Jesus, who blessed the couple of Cana by a miracle, bless all young couples entering into the marriage covenant today. Mary, our Mother, intercede for them.

Marriage Prayer
Lord, help us to remember when we first met and the strong love that grew between us.
To work that love into practical things so nothing can divide us.
We ask for words both kind and loving, and for hearts always ready to ask forgiveness as well as to forgive.
Dear Lord, we put our marriage into Your hands.
Amen.

A Footnote to the Vatican Follies: Beach Volleyball Next?

On Thursday I did a post on the Pelligrini brothers doing a portion of their act for the pope during the Wednesday weekly papal audience in a state of semi-undress. There's been a little back and forth about the appropriateness of the event in the comments section. So here's an addendum. Does it make a difference?

The Pelligrini brothers were selected to perform at the Gay Circus in Barcelona in 2008 where they performed as they did for the pope: same tower, same costumes (or lack thereof). The director of the circus said, "I chose them on the basis of gay aesthetics of beauty, elegance and quality." Well, those aren't particularly "gay" values any more than the rainbow is a gay symbol. God gave it to Noah first!

The brothers are fourth generation circus performers and I certainly admire the skill, strength, and beauty of their gymnastic performance. Nevertheless, it was inappropriate at a papal audience. Would people approve of the Olympic Beach Volleyball team doing a demo complete with bikinis at the Wednesday audience? If not, why not? They need pastoral care too don't they?



My suspicious mind can't help suggesting last Wednesday's event was in the same league as L'Osservatore Romano releasing the controversial segment on condoms from the pope's interview (in violation of the pre-release ban). I think it's likely that someone at the paper did it very deliberately. Whether the Pelligrini brothers are gay or straight or mixed, their connection to the gay circus ensures lewd suggestions and nasty comments harking back to the abuse scandals. Are Vatican PR folks really so naive? What do you think?

Vatican follies: What happened to the papal dress code?

According to the London Telegraph, "The performance was part of an international congress for the pastoral care of circus and travelling show people organised by the Vatican." It took place on December 15th at the weekly audience.

What gives here? There's a dress code for papal audiences (even the huge ones). In fact the Pontifical North American College has a note about it on their website under frequently asked questions:

Is there a dress code?  Dress in good taste is requested. Shoulders must be covered. Shorts are not permitted, and skirts should fall in length below the knee. A head covering is not necessary, however, in the summer sun it may be helpful.

When the pope visited Washington, the protocol for Rome was published as an advisory by the Washington Center for Protocol:

No shorts, tanks tops, sandals; no skirts above the knee; shoulders must be covered; no hats for men; women are not required to cover their heads.

During the summer there is a booming business in paper pants and shirts in St. Peter's Square since shorts and tank tops are not allowed in the church and, according to the St. Peter's Basilica website the dress code is "strictly enforced." It certainly wasn't here!

Another bit of trivia I picked up on appropriate dress is that only royalty should wear white. So, from all perspectives, the dress (or undress) code was pretty much out the window for this event.

 

All I can say, is that as a serious Catholic I'm embarrassed. Our Church is becoming a laughing stock and a joke There were quite a few crass comments about homosexuality from viewers of the video on websites where it's posted. Obviously, nobody has control over people's vulgar and lewd comments, but situations can invite that kind of behavior. And this certainly did. And to have it taking place in Advent no less only a week after we celebrated the feast of our Blessed Mother's Immaculate Conception! Whatever happened to modesty?

A number of questions popped into my head as I watched this head-shaker:

• Who arranged it?
• Were the performers given any direction about appropriate dress?
• Was there a deliberate intent here to create another embarrassing moment for the pope?
• What are Catholics in the pew to make of this nonsense? 

Personally, I love a circus, but all that skin was unnecessary and immodest. Even male gymnasts at the Olympics show more respect in their dress than these dudes did!

The Sexualization of Little Girls

You've no doubt seen the "Juicy" fashion line at your local department store. What do you think about a fashion look that focuses attention on little girls' behinds with the suggestive idea of them being "juicy" consumables. (Any pedophiles in the audience?)

Well, it isn't just fashions, it's suggestive moves and dances. Go to a recital of a big dance school with big buck, often immodest, costumes and you can see little girls straddling chairs, shaking it all up, and engaging in what can only be described as "dirty dancing."

Well, one little girl didn't like being told she had to "shake her booty" for the enjoyment of the crowd. (See below.) She paid a price for her modesty. Good for her and two thumbs down for the cheerleading coach who has the  common sense of a lemming!

The American Family Association has a petition drive to support Fayleen for her courageous stand. Go here.

Modesty, Especially at Mass: a Picture's Worth a Thousand Words; a Video's Worth 100,000

On Modesty

This post was inspired by one at Creative Minority Report about "America's next top role model." I recommend it.

Modesty is something most people don't think about. If an outfit is considered fashionable, they wear it. A few years ago I had a conversation with a young adult about her clothing. She was on the way to Mass by the way. But she was wearing ripped jeans, the kind you buy that are pre-ripped. I mean the kind you pay big bucks for that are ripped and shredded and look like they were retrieved from a trash can at the Salvation Army. But the pricetag is usually hefty. Go figure!

My comment to the young lady was, "I honestly don't understand that fashion statement." She looked back at me in my skirt and jacket, stockings and heels and replied, a little snippily, "I don't understand your fashion statement either." Now this young person happens to be someone I love very much. If she had been a stranger I wouldn't have said anything. Why should a stranger care about my opinion? But I truly don't understand someone I thought had common sense, being taken in by a fashion industry that sells clothing that would likely be rejected by a hobo (except kids dressing up for Halloween). I wonder if she would blacken her face with burnt cork if Revlon sold it as the latest look.

Generally when I talk about modesty I'm referring to clothing that is too revealing or provocative. And that certainly is a more serious issue. When clothing draws attention to a woman's breasts or her crotch there is clearly a sexual message that can be a temptation and occasion of sin to young men. The same for men in tight jeans and speedo swim suits. If little is left to the imagination, the clothing is immodest. What is its purpose except an invitation to lust. It's also unappealing to see someone, man or woman, bend over and show a bare buttox. We used to have a standing joke at our house about the "dishwasher repair man" whose low slung pants covered little when he bent over. And women's hip-hugging, low slung jeans make many look like dishwasher apprentices.

But there is something also immodest about ripped and shredded clothing especially when the holes and tears are positioned to draw attention to the upper thighs.

Which brings me to the question of exactly what is modesty? It's more than avoiding too much cleavage. It's also about not drawing attention to oneself by bizarre and outrageous clothing, tattoos, spiked purple hair, body piercings, etc. Modesty doesn't thrust itself into the limelight or demand attention. It doesn't have a loud and shrill voice. Modesty is the companion of humility and the guardian of chastity. It's a beautiful virtue that is too little evident in our vain and hedonistic culture.

Modesty doesn't refuse to engage the other in conversation, but speaks gently and never uses vulgarity. Modesty never swears or curses. Modesty has clean eyes, those eyes which are the windows of the soul. And all the clothing and jewelry and makeup is selected to draw attention to those windows and give the other a glimpse into the sanctuary within. Modesty is one of the most unappreciated and unpracticed of the virtues, but what a blessing it is to the one who discovers or rediscovers it.

Author Michael O'Brien on Modesty

Modesty is the guardian of chastity. Is it any wonder that, in a society fixated on sex, modesty, even among Christians, is so rare? Ironically, even those ostensibly trying to fight impurity in the culture tend toward vulgar and crude language. Michael O'Brien as an artist and author has some interesting insights on the problem.

"Semi-nudity has become commonplace on magazine covers, advertisements, at swimming pools and beaches. Total nudity is becoming more frequent in media such as television and film, and is rampant in the vastly more popular 'private' cultural consumption of the internet. Juxtapose with these near-universal phenomena the fact that more than sixty percent of marriages now end in divorce or separation, that self-denial and sacrifice have become widely discredited concepts, and that the pursuit of happiness through the avenues of sensual satisfaction have produced a profoundly disordered society. No people in history has been so richly rewarded with pleasures, and no people in history has ever been so unhappy....

"I am convinced that the modern harping on the supposed repressiveness of the past is really no more than a symptom of our current obsession with sex. If we were to plunge back a century or two, I think we would find that while our ancestors' manner of dress was indeed more formal, and at times even constricting, most people still wed and had children and made happy marriages with startling frequency - and with an enviable rate of success. Compare that to our own dismal, liberated era, in which the image of the cavorting human body is thrust at us a thousand times a day from the pages of the tabloids at the supermarket check-out counter, from chewing gum commercials on television, home computer screens, and from what is being worn on the beach and at church. Modesty has gone out of style....

"The times are very ill, indeed they are nearly sick unto death. "The culture of death," the Holy Father calls it. And by this he means far more than the death of the body. Within the short space of a century, Western society has degenerated from a Christian culture to a despiritualized one, and from there it has further degenerated into a dehumanized one. The next stage is the diabolization of culture, a process which has already begun. At this moment in the great war between good and evil, we must turn with renewed confidence to Our Lady, asking her for the particular graces of wisdom, prudence, and modesty for our young people. Daily we should invoke her protection against the spirit of the world and the spirit of our ancient adversary. If we do, she will help us see the areas of our lives where we have been deceived. She will help us find a better way, if we respond to her outpouring of graces. Then our children will learn to love more fully. And they will be loved for who they truly are."

Read the entire essay...

More on the Christopher West Theology of the Body Controversy

Christopher West Controversy Fuels Debate about the Problem of Modesty

Is Chastity the New Cool?

Teens are rebels right? In the culture of death where lust, drugs, body piercings, tattoos, etc. are the norm how's a kid to rebel? Perhaps by embracing chastity. Let's hope it becomes the new cool.

Running Purity Rings around MTV - Chastity enjoys a resurgence among some teen stars.

By L. Brent Bozell III Media Research Center September 12, 2008

Dressing with Dignity

Colleen Hammond on Chastity Issues

Chastity Questions