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Thursday, April 29, 2021

The Priest, the Protestant and the Horse Races

The Kentucky Derby, the first of the three Triple Crown races, is the first Saturday in May.  Here's a great Catholic joke to tell friends at a Derby party.

The Priest, the Protestant & the Horse Races

One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch, a Protestant, noticed a Catholic priest step out onto the track and bless the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse – quite a long shot – won the race!

Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest as the old priest once again stepped onto the track. Sure enough, as the horses for the 5th race came to the starting gate, the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses. Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse blessed by the priest. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race!

Mitch collected his winnings and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse, another long shot. Mitch bet big on it, and it won! Mitch was elated!

As the races continued, the priest kept blessing long shot horses and each one ended up finishing first. By and by, Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.

True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old racehorse that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag.

With all those blessings Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old horse. He then watched dumbfounded as it come in dead last then dropped dead at the finish line. Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was.

Confronting the priest he demanded, “Father! What happened?! All day long you blessed horses and they all won! Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you, I've lost every cent of my savings – all of it!”

The wise old priest sadly nodded with sympathy. “Son,” he said, “that's one of the problems with you Protestants. You can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and the Last Rites.”

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