Today is my oldest sibling's birthday, my brother Ray. The first of ten living children he began his life in Hawaii when my dad, a recent Naval Academy grad, was stationed at Pearl Harbor. Ray always called himself the youngest Pearl Harbor survivor since my mom was only a few weeks pregnant when evacuated to the mainland. Ray ended his life here in Woodstock and continues to be loved and missed.
Fortunately, on that "day of infamy," Daddy survived the onslaught or Ray would have been an only child. He used to joke that he should be. If nothing else, big brothers were always good for teasing.
Daddy lost many classmates to the attack, but never really talked about it or the war in general. When he was dying, the Navy Archives sent a historian to interview him, since he was one of the few Pearl Harbor survivors still living. I remember that hot summer day listening to stories I'd never heard before and regretting that I hadn't explored more memories with both my parents.
None of us will be remembered for more than a few generations. Our stories fade into the misty past. The young have more immediate things to think about than their dead relatives. I know very little about any family members beyond my grandparents' generation and not much about them. My mom was adopted in the days of closed records, so we know almost nothing about her genealogy, but she definitely came from Celtic stock, blonde and freckled.
If I could suggest one practice to emphasize with your children -- encourage them to interview family members. My Aunt Dorothy used to include a crocheted ornament and a memory in her Christmas card every year. Those few snatches of family history are precious.
But even if we don't remember our relatives, we can pray for them. God knows their names. And I pray every day for all my ancestors especially those who passed on the faith so I could be Catholic today. What a gift they gave me and what an ungrateful lout I would be to forget that incredible gift, fail to say thank you, and to pray for the happy repose of their souls.
Cicero left us incredible wisdom when he spoke of gratitude.
It is indeed a sad thing that today, an ancient pagan is more likely to express words of gratitude than many Christians whose default position is blame. Blame God, blame parents, blame life! Many people live in a perpetual pity party. When the nurse came to see me this week, she asked if I was depressed. That always make's me laugh. I certainly have days when the "blue devils" are flying around, but I refuse to be so naval gazing and self-centered to waste time feeling sorry for myself. I haven't got enough time left to waste it on self-pity.
The sad situation in the world and the breakdown of the family shouldn't surprise us considering the Blessed Mother's message to Lucia that Satan's final battle would be over marriage and the family. Attacks on the family strike at the foundation of life and the little domestic Church. The attack on parenthood is Satan's strategy to destroy obedience to the one commandment that carries a blessing. "Honor your father and your mother that you may have long life on the land." Today I'll be praying for my brother, but also for my parents who gave us life and blessed us above all with the gift of faith. There is nothing I could ever do to be grateful enough to my mom and dad. Thank you, dear parents, for all the blessings of my life.
Wow! Beautiful words. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteMy Lutheran grandmother married into a French Catholic family in the 1920s in Indiana. I suspect I am Catholic today because she converted and all her children were baptized Catholic. I am thankful to her.
ReplyDeleteSome folks don't want family history/memories to remembered. They're embarrassed by less than stellar behaviour. My daughter who is a museum curator and I were discussing one day how after a certain point no one cares that Auntie was married 3 times or grandpa died from alcoholism.
Sad to say our family/extended family have experienced the attacks on family. Unfortunately, many of those involved failed to see it for what it was and were seduced by Satan's lies. They are bitter, sad people not open to Christ though they were/are Catholic/Christian.
I take comfort from Proverbs 22:6 - Raise your children in the way of the Lord and when they are old they won't depart from it. By embracing our sufferings, we can be channels of grace for our loved ones.
DeleteI have a picture in my library of my mom and dad, shortly after they met in college, at a dance in the ‘50’s - he’s dressed up in a brown suit and a bow tie; she’s dressed up in a cute red and white checker dress that just found out today she made herself. They were at a college dance and had a moment in time, this cute 19 year old budding couple … him in a proud but vaguely goofy smirky smile, her just cute as newly grown up young gal having fun in the big wide world.
ReplyDeleteWell, I’m privileged to know what happens next in their story *after* the photo is taken … one big, long epic life one small slice of which includes having and raising me. The weight of that collective memory, condensed into that one little picture that holds nothing but possibilities never ceases to amaze me. And now, that bright young man with the goofy prankster smile, is passed away - I witnessed his passing at his bedside; the young girl is not young any more … I take care of her.
And above that little picture on my bookshelf I have a larger picture on the wall of heaven - the great cloud of Angels and Saints surrounding the Beatific Vision that is the Holy Trinity.
And contained in those two pictures - put them both together, contemplate them as one - is the meaning of life.
Thank you for this lovely sharing, Aqua. It reminds me of a photo I have of my own parents at a dance. Daddy was brash. He went up to my mom and asked if she'd heard of the great Ray Schneider. I wonder how she responded at the time, but it certainly did not put a damper on the relationship.
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