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Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Oh no, Father! Nachew too!

Do this, then say:
don'T You, beT You, etc
After reading this I betchew can tell what my pet peeve is. This morning my favorite priest did it. Silently I said, Oh no Father! Nachew too!? So here's a tiny lesson on speaking properly.
Let's use prayer as an example. When we pray to the Lord we must not offend His ears. For instance, let's not catch ourselves saying, Gamornin' God. You OK t'day? So...You said that we would finejew in prayer so I'm kneelin' down here to visichew because I wanchew to do sumpin' for me. I want to perswayjew to let me have a good ehjewkashun so I will no longer speak like this. Doanchew want me to senjew prayers properly? 
Note: in prayer the use of "chew" and "jew" must be capitalized since both are used in reference to God, Who in properly enunciated English, is referred to as "You" with a capital "Y"....example - visiChew, doanChew, fineJew, senJew.
Of course God will answer the above prayer since He can barely understand whachew're sayin' and because in the future our speaking properly will save Him time trying to figure it out - time that He could better use solving the world's problems.
Therefore, remember that riots and looting are in a tiny way our fault since, collectively, the number of times daily we pray using "Chew" and "Jew" instead of "You" multiplied by the millions of people praying, takes away billions of minutes from God in His normal daily routine of governing the world.
So that's my reminder that we must not to be lazy with diction. Doanchew want to speak properly? Of course we do therefore here's today's speech lesson: say over and over until spoken properly - don'T You, don't you, don'tyou; beT You, bet you, betyou; finD You, find you, findyou; senD You, send you, sendyou, and so forth. Move those facial muscles, drop that tongue down from the roof of your mouth. Try it while holding a pencil between your teeth. 


Osusanna said...

Wats zis? Yinz cant talk perfect like dat where I live, but priests dey shuld alatime :).

geoff kiernan said...

"OMG!!!" "Oh my God!"...Equally as annoying. You hear it everywhere and dozens of times a day

turkeyridge said...

Wrong. Proper English should use the formal rather than the familiar second person pronouns when addressing God. It sounds like a clanging gong to my ears to call God, You! How about Thee and Thou, with have the added advantage of teaching us about the distinction between subject and object, as other languages do. Thy and Thine would follow, naturally. Then we wouldn't have to worry about the "yew" thing. Or, where I live "thang!"

I recall as a new Catholic how I got a vacant stare from those who used "Aymen" instead of "Ahmen" when I pointed out the difference.

"D'ja go to the "stower" yet" "D'ja git me anythin?" Or, my favorite: "D'jeetchet? C'mom! Squeet!"