The Mystery of Life and Love

Little birdies in their nests agree. If they fight they fall out and get eaten by the cat!

Yesterday, Larry and I visited my sister in the nursing home in Frederick, MD. Traveling there and back is often an adventure, sometimes delightful, sometimes not so much. Last week our hour and forty minute trip home expanded to three and a half hours because of an accident on Interstate 81. Just saying those words, "Interstate 81," raises my blood pressure. We used our stop and start time to pray an extra rosary, especially for those in the accident, and to listen to an audio tape. It turned out one of the accident victims was the sister-in-law of friends. Fortunately, despite involvement with two tractor trailers, no one was seriously hurt, but the southbound highway was completely shut down for hours. 

On the other hand, our weekly trip often results in lovely encounters with residents and their visitors. Yesterday was one of those days. When I went to get my sister some ice water, I paused in front of the little aviary in the third four lounge. Four precious colorful tiny birds flew about getting food and water and landing on the swinging perch. Two gentlemen were sitting there and we had a brief conversation. Jack, in his 90s, joked that he is the mayor on the third floor and his companion is "King Charles." I dutifully curtsied to the king and Jack told me about himself. He's had numerous bouts with cancer and was told over a decade ago that he had three months to live. Since then he has buried his wife, two daughters, and a sister. He told me he was a deacon at a nearby Protestant church for many years and still gets picked up every weekend to attend services there. He never stopped smiling and made me smile as well. What a delightful encounter! We promised to pray for each other.

The second encounter happened as we were leaving. A lovely elderly couple sat in the shade quietly chatting. I stopped to say hello. Raymond sat on the bench next to his wheelchair bound wife, Marie (not their real names). Marie was clearly suffering from cancer and on chemo because she was completely bald, but still lovely. She rested her head on a pillow and looked very frail, but with a sweet smile. Raymond told me they celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary last June, which formed a bond between us since Larry and I will celebrate ours in October. For their 25th anniversary they went on an Alaska cruise, obviously a cherished memory. They raised two boys and have two grandsons who must have been a handful because Rosemary said, "That's enough." I laughed and said we have twenty-eight grandchildren. I often add in conversations like that, "How can there be too many flowers in Grandma's garden."

On the day it all began with our dear friend, Fr. Hugh Monmonier

I told them they will be in my prayers forever because I pray for everyone who has touched my life, and they clearly had. They said they would pray for me as well. And then, to end this wonderful visit day, we had no traffic issues on the way home, just a lovely rosary and a quiet sharing time while we anticipate our own impending anniversary.

This morning as I reflected on those brief encounters, I thought of all that was unsaid. Long years of joys and sufferings, high points and low points that bring many of us to a ripe old age filled with bittersweet memories. That is the mystery of life and the mystery of marriage, especially marriage. How many hurdles did Raymond and Marie have to leap or scramble over? How many times did their paths diverge when they seemed alone and lost? How many times did they ask for forgiveness or rejoice in their unity?

Marriage is truly a mystery from the wine of new love to the water of disillusion and disappointment to the choice wine of a long life lived in fidelity and friendship. We watched our grandson with that ecstatic smile as he saw his bride coming down the aisle on her dad's arm. We rejoiced with them at that first dance as a married couple so filled with joy. We listened to the toasts celebrating these two young people now made one. It made me laugh to remember my dad's toast to us on our wedding day, that we might experience the combined fertility of both families (my own of ten and Larry's of eleven). 

The marriage mystery adventure is ahead for our grandson and his bride. For us, it is mostly behind. And yet it is also still ahead as Larry and I walk together into the twilight reflecting on the journey and anticipating the future. We know the best is yet to come if we spend each day in union with Christ and our dear mother Mary. 

I'm praying for all married couples today that they experience the choice wine of Cana and never let the water of disillusion and disappointment snuff out the burning fire of Christ's love ignited on their wedding day. Never forget, it takes three to be married and marriage is a reflection of Christ's love for His bride, the Church.

May Jesus Christ be praised!