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Monday, April 11, 2016

Tuptim and Topsy discover that Pope Francis and Obama are twins

Tuptim: More coffee, Tops? My treat.

Topsy: Yes, thank you! I’ll have the usual – a small extra bold with a little cream.

Tuptim: That’s the real stuff! I wonder what kind of coffee Cardinal Walter Kaspar orders? A milk chocolate magic mocha with cinnamon and whipped cream dotted with nutmeg Sulawesi?

Topsy: What’s that?
I order what Obama orders

Tuptim: No clue…just saw it on the menu and it sounded so odd that immediately I thought of him.

Topsy: Hmmm…I wonder what kind of coffee Pope Francis orders when he’s wandering around Rome on foot and stops by Starbucks to pay out of his own pocket? And Obama too. That would be interesting.

Tuptim: Well, whatever it is, they would be the same because Pope Francis and Obama are practically twins, aren’t they?

Topsy: Yep. That they are. Sowing confusion and division in every speech, every document, every country. Obama pits race against race, left against right, rich against poor, religious against atheists, ad nauseam ad infinitum.

Amoris Laetitia
Tuptim: Yes, and Pope Francis does the same. And now with his Amoris Laetitia there will be even more confusion and division. Priest against priest, priests against bishops, bishops against bishops, laity against laity…basically every entity against every other entity. Then there’s the spirit of the world pitted against the Spirit of God. Maybe we’ll have another schism.

Topsy: I certainly hope not! Hmmm…Amoris Laetitia…what exactly is that thing anyway? Where does it rate on the scale of papal documents proclaimed by the occupant of the Chair of Saint Peter?   
      
Tuptim: And who is it that says when that occupant is…er…swimming into shark waters?

Topsy: Shark waters?

Tuptim: You know…plunging into the deep, swimming against the tide, when all of a sudden in the hush of the evening there lurking beneath the surface of the sea is a dark shimmering figure barely noticeable…glistening, coursing, swimming…then all of a sudden WOOSH! A great white shark hurtling like a torpedo LEAPS out of the water, jaws agape, ready to devour souls.

Topsy: Gasp!! It's Ilsa!

Tuptim: No, no. You’re thinking of Ursula.

Topsy: I am? But that’s confusing.

Tuptim: You see what I mean then….that Amoris Laetitia is appallingly confusing.
The Barque of Peter after being attacked by a shark

Topsy: I get it now. It was meant to be that way, right?

Tuptim: Now you understand.

Topsy: And the great white shark is…?

Tuptim: That’s the main question, isn’t it? I don’t know the answer. I really don’t know. But this I do know.

Topsy: What’s that?

Tuptim: That after the tide goes out, all the glitter from the debris and wreckage will be snatched up and the shark will run with it as far as he can go to achieve whatever his goals are.

Topsy: Good Grief. That’s pathetic. Where is the Truth of Our Lord in all this? 

(To be continued.........)

7 comments:

TLM said...

Funny you should post this. This is one of the thoughts that went through my head after this disaster of a document was given to the world. Obama, I have considered, has been the worst, or one of the worst, Presidents in our entire history. And now we have a Pope who seems to be ..........

Lord Jesus help us!

Anonymous said...

Via Email

I must thank you for your very interesting taking of the 'new apostolic exhortation'......
My ignorant and humble comment.... How can the Vatican take the time to write exhortations of hundreds of pages???? Can't they use their time and expense for bringing souls to Christ? and.... Can't they say the same in maybe less than 100 pages?

Thanks again for feeding our souls, our hearts and our minds. May Jesus, Mary and Joseph continue to bless you!

M.P.

Anonymous said...

What you are experiencing is cognitive dissonance. You're hearing something (perhaps many somethings) that go against your core beliefs. You don't want to accept Obama. Fine. You don't want to accept the Pope? That's a sin.

Mary Ann Kreitzer said...

Don't be silly, Anonymous. I accept the fact that Pope Francis is pope. But being pope doesn't give him the right to undermine the faith. That is what is sinful, especially so when the scandal comes from those called to shepherd the flock. It speaks volumes that many enemies of the Church love this pope!

We have had scores of popes throughout history as well (as anti-popes) who were evil men. As a matter of fact, one of the arguments for the authenticity of the Catholic faith is that so many evil members of the magisterium haven't been able to destroy the Church.

There's a story, perhaps apocryphal, about a pope who was threatened by a king who vowed to destroy the Church. The pope laughed and said, if the bad popes and bishops throughout history hadn't been able to do it, he sure couldn't. Amen to that. Francis is a scandal whose actions can certainly damage the faith of many, but the gates of hell can never prevail against the Church.

Susan Matthiesen said...

Uh...well, Anonymous...my core beliefs are those of the Catholic Faith, so when Obama wants to make abortion an honorable act paid for by American citizens and sodomite "marriage" equal to the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony I am not just "hearing something" I don't like, I am SEEING it.

Likewise with Papa Francis. No one here said he was not a pope. We just intimated that we didn't like him a whole lot. Is it a sin that we're not all starry eyed over him gushing out praise with heated emotion? I am certain that somewhere deep down he has a good quality. Possibly you might make a suggestion of what that might be.

As for cognitive dissonance, I think it's the pope who has that problem.

Anonymous said...

Charitably, I have decided that your blog has developed a tone that I find more spiteful and finger-pointy than anything else. I have decided to listen carefully to Pope Francis and try to be more open-minded, open to the possibility of grace in places where I have difficulty seeing it, and less worried about the sex lives of my fellow parishioners. I'm removing your bookmark, ladies. Peace be with you (and I hope your anger lessens and doesn't continue to drive you).

Mary Ann Kreitzer said...

And I thought we were being very restrained. LOL! Have a good life!