Search This Blog

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

There's a Gap in Their Hoop

Woman flying of her own accord
A Play in Several Acts 
by Susan Matthiesen

Cast of Characters

Tuptim: A slave girl of God; name from The King and I.

Topsy: A slave girl of God; name from Uncle Tom's Cabin.

Amy Kirk Duvoisin: Founder of New Orleans’ annual Joan of Arc parade.

Antifa Leader: College student. His scowl is covered by a black hood

Antifa:  Black-clad (think ISIS) radicals stirred up by their Soros-backed handlers.

Scene:  Decatur Street in the French Quarter of New Orleans. Time: The present.

ACT I – TUPTIM AND TOPSY RESCUE A SOUTHERN STATUE

Scene 1 - SETTING: We are standing on Decatur Street at the golden statue of Saint Joan of Arc. Someone has spray-painted on its the base, “Tear it down!”


AS THE CURTAIN RISES: Tuptim and Topsy are vacationing in New Orleans. After having visited the Cathedral of Saint Louis (of France) they stroll a few blocks east on the banks of the Mississippi to see the “Maid of Orleans.” As they approach the golden statue of St Joan of Arc they see “Tear it down” spray-painted on its base. Amy Kirk Duvoisin stands looking at the words while facing a crowd of black clad Antifa radicals who have approached from the opposite direction.

AMY: (Bravely facing Antifa’s leader whose face is covered by a black hood.) What?! I can’t believe this! Surely, you people realize St Joan of Arc is not related to American history!

ANTIFA LEADER: Joan was French! France was instrumental in the founding of the US! The US was partly founded by slave-owners! Joan would have supported slavery!

ANTIFA: Yeah!

ANTIFA LEADER: It was cultural appropriation! New Orleans must give its city back to the French!

ANTIFA: Yeah! Do it now or we tear down this statue! (Then they chant, “Tear it down! Tear it down!”)

TUPTIM: (Tuptim and Topsy are a few yards away. Tuptim stops and turns to Topsy.) Are they really that stupid?

TOPSY: (Being sarcastic.) Yep, these millennials are really well educated. She’s carrying a flag on horseback, so the statue obviously represents a member of the oppressor class…you know, astride a horse so she must have been a Confederate

TUPTIM: If this keeps up we won’t have to teach history in school, that is if they still do that.

TOPSY: A leftie is not educated enough to know any history let alone European history.

TUPTIM: Maybe if a sign is posted to say the rider is a woman? A woman dressed as a man is one of the protected classes.

TOPSY: Nope. She’s obviously a Christian and they’re on the list of those to be destroyed for Utopia to bloom.

TUPTIM: It’s as if they think she had slaves or sold/traded them. Or they think, “Arc…it must be short for, like, ARKANSAS!”

TOPSY: (Laughing.) I know what it is! It’s that horse – it ate LIVING PLANTS!

TUPTIM: (Also laughing.) Or maybe they are all Tolkien fans upset that New Orleans commemorated Joan of Orcs!

TOPSY: (Laughs, then says…) Actually I think it’s because they think, “Oh of course - the Maid of Orleans fought alongside Robert E Lee against the Germans in the War of Jenkins Ear.”

TUPTIM: And she’s white, militarist and a Christian to boot! No room for the Maid of Orleans in our diverse and liberal society.

TOPSY: They really are that stupid, aren’t they? Well, we need to rescue Amy. Let’s go to speak to the Antifa Leader.

ISIS members of the religion of peace
Antifa Democrat members of the party of peace
TOPSY AND TUPTIM: (Approaching the Antifa Leader.) Hey. Stop screaming and listen to us. Your philosophy has a gap in it.

ANTIFA LEADER: Huh? Whaddaya mean, gap? I didn’t get my black hood there!

TUPTIM: This isn’t about black clothing. We’re talking about your mind, your philosophy. You try to fool people by “standing for freedom” but we know better. We see you cheat with that gap in your hoop, trying to prove lies are truth.

ANTIFA LEADER: (Boiling with rage.) What are you two TALKING ABOUT!?

AMY: (Approaching the three.) It’s your hoop, sir.

ANTIFA LEADER: Are you comparing me to a Southern Confederate WOMAN in a HOOP skirt?

TUPTIM: (Whispers to Topsy.) That would be a black hoop skirt.


TOPSY: I know, right? (Then aloud) It’s no use. He isn’t old enough. He’s never heard of Monty Python much less seen it even though it’s on YouTube now.

TUPTIM: Yep, I agree. And a true example of having a gap in their hoop is being arrogant know-it-alls when they don’t have a clue.

The Antifa Leader, now too confused to further lead the pack, disperses his followers. He goes off to play the grand piano, leaving destruction for another day. At last Tuptim, Topsy and Amy are left in peace to admire the Maid of Orleans.

END OF SCENE ONE. TO BE CONTINUED WITH SCENE TWO OF THERE’S A GAP IN THEIR HOOP - “TUPTIM AND TOPSY VISIT MACAROON THE CLOWN”.


2 comments:

Carlos Caso-Rosendi said...

Let me propose this other script: big Antifa group of rioters shows up in the city of X. St Michael appears to them. He slays all of them. Buzzards and eagles descend and have lunch.

Susan Matthiesen said...

Hmmm...Tuptim and Topsy are going to be at the circus next week but maybe there'll be a riot and the elephants can TCOB.