“Lying is the most direct offense against the truth. To lie is to speak or act against the truth
in order to lead someone into error.”
CCC #2483 (In other words to make them believe that which is not true.)
“The gravity of a
lie is measured against the nature of the truth it deforms, the
circumstances, the intentions of the one who lies, and the harm suffered by its
victims. If a lie in itself only
constitutes a venial sin, it becomes mortal when it does grave injury to
the virtues of justice and charity.” CCC
#2484 (This tells us that a lie told deliberately is a sin. It may not be a serious sin, but it is a
sin.)
“By its very nature, lying is to be condemned. It is a profanation of speech, whereas the
purpose of speech is to communicate known truth to others. The deliberate intention of leading a
neighbor into error by saying things contrary to the truth constitutes a
failure in justice and charity. CCC
#2485
“Since it violates the virtue of truthfulness, a lie does
real violence to another. It affects his
ability to know, which is a condition of every judgment and decision. It contains the seed of discord and all
consequent evils. Lying is destructive
of society; it undermines trust among men and tears apart the fabric of
social relationships.” CCC #2486
If we embrace all these things, then is it still ok to
lie some of the time? Certainly the
devil would like you to think so. We may tell ourselves the truth can be painful
and even unpalatable for many who reject it, so a little lie here and there might
keep them happy and comfortable, but my own belief is tell the truth always.
What about the lies required to pull off a surprise party? What’s the harm in that? I know people who have a long history of
surprising members of their family, in fact, so often, one wonders what any of
them are ever actually surprised by.
I have never liked surprise parties. Our family has never engaged in it for a
number of reasons. I personally don’t
even like to standby waiting for the toaster to pop, so why would I enjoy being
shocked by a room full of people yelling SURPRISE? My husband said from the day we were married,
do NOT surprise me. He was not just
speaking of parties, to be sure. This is
honestly the best kind of advice a husband can give a wife who depends on his
trust, protection, and support. It keeps
open the doors of good communication and builds a stable relationship that can
withstand all storms.
I enjoy surprises,
such as an unexpected bouquet of flowers delivered by a florist. Or a phone call from someone I haven’t spoken
to in a while, a task completed by my spouse that I’ve wanted done for a long
time, or a spontaneous hug from a grandchild.
I also enjoy surprising others with a favorite meal, an unsolicited
favor, or a small unexpected gift just because I want to give someone a little
joy and express my love.
A surprise party on the other hand involves doing
something that is wrong---deceiving others to supposedly make them happy. From what I’ve seen, people go to
extraordinary lengths and pile up lie upon lie to get these future events to
work as planned. The amount of
coordination of lies is often incredible.
It can go to the point where the whole planning becomes more exciting
than the event itself. It can involve
getting others to do things they would not otherwise have done to perpetuate
the deceit.
I was told by a dear friend of such a scheme involving
another friend we have in common. The
names have been changed but the story goes this way: Linda’s husband called Alicia and asked her
to invite Linda to meet her and another friend, Carol, in NYC to spend the
weekend together. He said he would make
the plane reservations and her hotel arrangements from his end. So Alicia called her friend and asked her if
she could come to NYC and meet her and Carol for a weekend get together
visiting museums and shopping. When Linda approached her husband to see if
this idea would be ok with him, he consented without letting her know it was
his idea in the first place. The three
women talked back and forth over the coming weeks getting their plans made of
what they would do while they were together and confirming the fact they would
meet on the afternoon of their arrivals in the hotel lobby at a certain time in
case one checked in before the others.
The truth is, neither Alicia nor Carol went to NYC. When Linda arrived in the lobby she was met
by her two sons who live in different parts of the country. They had come there to surprise their mother
for her birthday. No doubt the sons’ two
wives were also in on this whole factory of lies from the start.
There can be so much “fun” involved in this for some that
the temptation to do so seems
irresistible. But if your desire is to
do something nice for another why must it involve deceit, unless it is more
your own desire than the one being surprised---such as a party the other never
wanted in the first place,
OR the fact you think lying, the means, is justifiable
since it produces the desired end result, the surprise. What would be wrong with letting the person
being honored know of the plans and then let the end result be the memorable and
happy event for all?
We pray, “and lead us not into temptation,” but there may
be times we don’t even recognize the temptations in our lives. “Discernment unmasks the lie of temptation,
whose object appears to be good, a ‘delight to the eyes’ and desirable (Gen.
3:6) when in reality its fruit is death.
CCC#2447
I don’t think people who devise surprise events are bad
or that they intend to do evil, but taking delight in a sin, lying, is in any
case a problem. All the things that
please the devil have an element of pleasure
in them otherwise more and more of us would be saints. If we convince ourselves to think the little
things don’t matter, how long will it be before we cave in to other things more
serious? This is why we are told to stay
away from magic tricks, from palm readers and fortune tellers. They can be “fun” and appear to be harmless, but
they weaken our fortitude against mortal sin. The repeated pleasure we may take in lying
to others for the fun of it, could lead us into thinking certain sins don’t
actually count. “Fortitude is the moral
virtue that ensures firmness in difficulties and constancy in the pursuit of
the good. It strengthens the resolve
to resist temptations and to overcome obstacles in the moral life.” CCC #1808
Revelations 21:6-8
6)“And he said to me: It is done.
I am Alpha and Omega; the beginning and the end. To him that thirsteth, I will give of the
fountain of the water of life, freely.
7) He that shall overcome shall possess these things, and I will be his
God; and he shall be my son. 8) But the fearful, and unbelieving, and
the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, they shall have their
portion in the pool burning with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”
That seems a really
bad lot with whom to pitch your tent just to construct a surprise. Wouldn’t you agree? This may throw a wet blanket on what has been
a favorite sport of yours, but trickery and deceit should never be part of a faithful
Christian's way of life.
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